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BREAKING NEWS _ COMPLETED TRI ON SUNDAY _ 2HRS 43mins.
Dearly beloved
Never sign up to activities whilst drunk. Never believe your internal bravado that you used to be in good shape 20 years ago so must still be, and hey "Olympic" sounds cool. As you may have guessed I have been foolish enough to sign up for my first tri. Three weeks on Sunday, I shall be swimming a mile through the duck poo in Tatton Mere (I shall be the only idiot doing breast stroke). Once out of my wetsuit - which takes me longer than the swim- why is the zip on the back? - I shall be mounting my trusty racing steed for 38km - the racing saddle alone will end my chances of a third child. If I havent been thrown off the course for being overtaken by a toddler on a tricycle, I shall attempt a 10k run, ending with a loving embrace from my wife and children - or more likely "you look daft in that trisuit, and you smell. The kids are on the ds."
Training to date has involved sitting on a sunbed, drinking wine and smoking the odd Cohiba cigar. Injuries have included getting 20+ spikes off a sea urchin in my thigh, damaging my foot whilst hurdling a chair and falling off my bike Kevin Keegan style at a junction when I forgot my feet were strapped to the pedals. I'm sure the roar of the crowd (at 8am) will carry me through.
Why am I doing this? You may remember Conor my next door neighbour. He had a brain tumour removed aged 4, and another one six months later. I am delighted to report eighteen months later he is a happy healthy lovely child. The money raised on this site will go towards parents' visiting facilities. Many a harrowing night did John and Lisa sit at Conor's bedside holding his hand. If you have been in that position, you won't need to ask why i'm doing the tri. If you haven't - excellent long may that continue - appease that feeling of "How would I cope?" by donating. Lisa and John raised an amazing £60k at the do last year - I'll be happy with a fraction of that!
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So please dig deep and donate now. As Gary Barlow once said "It only takes a minute" (or was that my first girlfriend?)
Thanks
Dominic
