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You still here?
Ok, here the rub. I've seen these pages before, I have donated to a few and I have found them all terribly polite.
Until now. This is personal. I have done something spontanious, rash and downright silly and I need your help to bail me out.
I need to raise a minimum of £1100 for Plantlife (see below and left) for the honour (gulp) of participating (killing myself) in the London Marathon in April 2010. Should I not raise the said amount, Plantlife will remove my body parts (with a trowel) and sell them on the black market - so you can see, its pretty serious stuff.
Ok, ok so the truth is I'm running for an incredibly important organisation. It may not be as well covered or sexy as the big charities, but in my humble opinion (and I'm always right) this one is way up there. This is conservation with a capital C.
Plantlife started its journey in 1989 under the guidance of Sir David Bellamy, who understood the necessity of a 'RSPB for Plants'. (Obviously they avoided creating the RSPP due to the certainty of small children, or imature adults, finding the abreviation just too funny.)
The Deeply Serious Part:
Plants really really really matter. They effect every aspect of our environment, from floodwater management to the reduction of pollution, soil erosion and natural pest control. They effect our health, think medicines, think wellbeing, think healthy food. Everything we do, everything we see, everything we feel is linked to plants. Plants provide the very basis to life on earth.
Ok, here granny, remove your teeth & have an egg, so you already know this - but did you know.....
The Statisticy Part:
98% of Britains flower rich meadows have been destroyed in the last 60 years?
Over half of our ancient woodlands have been lost since 1945?
One in five wild flowers in Britain is threatened with extinction?
and on a planetary level - one third of all plants worldwide are under threat? ONE THIRD! I'm spooked.
The So What do Plantlife Do Exactly? Part:
Gosh, they're a busy bunch, fundamentaly they conserve sites of important plant habitat. They buy and manage these sites and ensure more of our native flora is saved ensuring the of survival floral genetic diversity . (This is the important bit - they don't just save the plants, they protect the plants natural environment.) They have a major influence in plant conservation on a national and international governmental level and are involved in many conservation projects worldwide. They do a zillion other things too - including worldwide botanic surveys, education, etc - so, yes, they are pretty cool actually.
The Grovelling and Begging and Offering of My Soul Part:
Grovel, beg, here take my soul. If you feel even a little bit concerned about the survival of our wild plants, please dig deep for this worthy cause . If you don't, then you are a very bad person and the giving of cash would actually be cathartic. Or maybe just remember, that if I don't get close to the target I'll be forced to pull out of the event and therefore will not suffer the hell of running for 26 miles.
My pledge, apart from dying, will be to write the name of each and every person who sponsors me in permanent ink upon my person therefore taking each and every one of you with me, (plus a handy reminder of who to curse.) If anyone wants to go a stage further and recieve a photograph of their name on my lily white flesh at the London Marathon 2010 - and therefore a claim to have 'done' the marathon - there is a minimum pledge of £20. Damn I'm cheap. It 's a slightly wierd offer, but I understand there are many freakish people out there. Of course larger donations deserve prime location, larger lettering and possibly even calligraphy. The first to sponsor £100 gets my forehead.
But really, thanks to everyone who donates to this very worthy if relatively unknown charity and thankyou for giving me the opportunity to do something I've long had nightmares about.
The Small Print Part:.
Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they’ll send your money directly to the charity and make sure Gift Aid is reclaimed on every eligible donation by a UK taxpayer. So it’s the most efficient way to donate - I raise more, whilst saving time and cutting costs for the charity.
OK thats all folks, go donate! (Money not organs.)
