For as long as I can remember (since the day I was born actually, on Monday 27th April 1992 at 05:58hrs), cake has always been my favourite dessert, and Milkybar has always been my favourite chocolate.

For 26 long and gruelling years, I have endured the agonising wait for the day that an angel would swoop down from heaven and combine the two together in a poof of magic angel dust. Or sugar, as it’s more commonly known.

Please find it in your hearts to give generously, to help grant an entitled and undeserving young woman her life long wish, for nothing in return.

Thank you.