In the course of the most bizarre assignment I've ever been given since becoming a reporter I have spent 48 hours living inside a 24-hour Asda.
It was for a feature due to be published in the Wolverhampton Express & Star newspaper on March 18 and should be available at www.expressandstar.com the following day.
UPDATE: The feature has been held over until probably Good Friday. Apologies to all who were looking forward to seeing me making a fool of myself.
The purpose was to find out how possible it is to live your life comfortably doing all the things you would usually do at home within the confines of a shop. Think Tom Hanks in The Terminal only without the Oscar-winning actor or director.
It was not a charity feature and indeed nothing to do with this appeal shall appear in the articles. This is something I decided to do while I was in the store.
I explained the feature to people by saying 'if you can get everything under one roof, do you even need your own roof?'
It was only later on I realised what a smug pillock I sounded.
Lying in my tent in the foyer of the shop I was poked, prodded and shaken by scores of drunk students looking for some late night munchies.
I woke up as two blokes unzipped my tent, sat cross legged on the floor and offered to share their Cornish pasties with me.
In a way I was trying to point out that if there is to be no end to rising council tax bills, inflation and energy companies blaming their price hikes on rising fuel costs while boasting record profits, then maybe the answer is to give up your home and live inside the supermarket where all the electricity and so on is free.
Of course this has no basis in reality. Shelter tackles that reality every day. While I told a semi-humorous tale of being shaken awake by drunks, homeless people sleep in the freezing cold in constant fear that someone will rob or kill them for whatever precious little they have.
So in a sense this appeal is, for me, a little absolution. Because while I was planning this feature I gave no thought to people less fortunate than myself and I simply solicited sympathy from my friends for having to pull a 48 hour shift, for which I was given plenty of time off in lieu.
At least during that time I have reflected on how lucky I am. And I now ask that if you can spare a few quid for Shelter you might be able to help someone avoid living in conditions a million times worse than I felt sorry for myself for having to put up with.
