Sadly my Mam, Jean, passed away peacefully in hospital surrounded by her loving family in January 2010. She had been suffering with alcoholism for a long time but more so over the past few years. Looking back I think she never really recovered from losing my Dad to cancer at such a young age. At that time my Sister and me were young and probably a little naive as to how my Mam was dealing with all her emotions. It was my Nan who noticed how much my Mam was drinking after my Dad died and had asked me did I realize. We to used put marks on the bottles to see how much she was drinking, but without realizing how much damage she was actually doing too herself.
In the final stages of my Dad's illness it was his final wish to go at home rather than in hospital, sadly followed by my Nan's same wish two years later - my Mam packed in work to single-handedly care for two people whom she loved so very much. At such a low point in her life this I believe was in the end to her detriment.
She had hidden the full extent of her drink problem from us all really until 2005, when she was rushed into hospital with Liver problems. She was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, which in the end was one of the things she finally died from.
Getting her to admit she was an alcoholic was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The last four years she's battled and tried really hard with all her families help and support and the help of many councillors and care workers to manage her addiction. At one point she did start to turn a corner and was back to herself, I think it was the love and strength that she got from her 2 grandchildren, they are still too young to understand fully I think, they can only see the warm caring side to their Nanna which is good.
Unfortunately the past few years had dealt her more sorrow, from which she was unable to deal with, without the alcohol. She was the eldest in her family but losing four of her seven brothers was very difficult and you could see the strength draining from her each time she was told, gradually shutting her family and friends out little by little whom she never stopped loving but could not bear to let them see the person she had become.
I think there's a stigma surrounding alcoholics, most people have a picture in they minds of homeless people sitting drinking on park benches, not of a warm hearted, caring, family person who is willing to help and care for others.
As you can probably tell from me rambling on I'm not handling it too well myself. I don't like that empty feeling you get from not having either of your parents to fall back on. I'm sorry if this page has been upsetting, I cried all the way through writing myself.
I am happy to tell my story in order to break down social barriers surrounding alcoholism and if I can stop or help just one person going down the same route as my Mother I will feel that her suffering and loss of life hasn't been in vain.
My Mam was an alcoholic - I love her, I'm proud of her and I'll always miss her.
Thank you for looking at the Jean Monkman Just Giving page, with any monies raised going to the British Liver Trust.
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