Following my last tour of Afghanistan in 2012 as a frontline paramedic as part as the Medical Emergency Response Team, I was diagnosed with PTSD. This unfortunately spiralled resulting in the loss of my home and my partner. It hit me hard and I still find it difficult to understand how this has affected me and changed who I once was.

So how have I changed.....There are no visible wounds to see but I am not as laid back as I once was. I have regular nightmares and night sweats. There are various triggers which lead me to have shakes and anxiety attacks, panic attacks in crowded places, depression, isolation, poor judgement,emotional numbness and a few other symptoms including some physical symptoms. My social life has suffered with this, as has my domestic life...doing ordinary natural day to day tasks is debilitating, even more so after a bad night. I have also lost interest in previous hobbies etc and my concentration and short term memory is pretty poor.

Following my diagnosis I have battled to find the right support and decided to commence public speaking to talk about my story. In doing this I hope to raise awareness for other sufferers as well as family & friends of those going through the journey. I have completed a couple of talks already and I have further ones planned commencing Jan 15. I take no payment for these talks and any donations given from these events go directly to the charity via this page. I also wish to source an independent laptop, projector & screen for the sole use of this project. I plan to travel around the UK in it during these talks. I hope to raise as much awareness as possible.

Those of you with awareness of PTSD will know that crowds can aometimes be difficult. For me this causes major panic attacks. Im hoping with treatment that I will be ready to take part in the next CLASP 'Walking Out of the Dark' on 16 May 15 and I also intend to involve myself in various fundraising events in support of Clasp Charity. My aim is to speak out in the hope of neutralising stigma - one voice can reach thousands of ears. 

CLASP (Counselling Life Advice Suicide Prevention) Charity raises awareness, support & funds for those suffering the Stigma surrounding Mental and Stress related illness and Suicide. Supporters include the Medical Advisory Service, Financial Ombudsman Outreach, Royal College of Nursing & many more.

Please support my venture in the hope of ending the stigma surrounding mental illness. Thank you in advance of your support.

Please feel free to view my blog for further details on my journey and why this cause is so close to my heart: http://michellesandersonptsd.net