My Lords, Ladies and gentlemen…
Thanks for visiting my fundraising page. Firstly, can I assure you all that this isn’t in aid of boosting my ailing coffers. But it IS a chance to raise some money for a very worthy cause and even show me a bit of moral support in the process.
I’m sure this isn’t the only time you’ve been sent a link to the Justgiving site. Who could forget Candice-Marie’s first ‘cakeathon’ or Derek’s ‘100 pubs in 100 hours’?
So why, you may be asking should I send my hard earned pennies over yonder?
Well, for those of you who know me, the last time I went 10k was falling asleep on the train after one too many diet Cokes, resulting in a bitter and miserable trudge 11 miles home - testament to the beer swilling monster that every so often rears his ugly head.
My midriff has also been gradually expanding into a very nicely defined ‘one-pack’. Not an easy task, this has required many hours of extensive feasting and concentrated drinking. Eating all the right foods, high in saturated fats, sugars and lovely processed carbs.
Looking back to photos of my youth, it’s also clear that I was a well-rounded individual. So well rounded in fact that I often blocked out the sun.
In summation of the evidence provided to you so far my learned friends; I am what is known as a ‘fatty’. Not a jumbo guts of deep-fried proportions, but someone who has been letting themselves go, for a more comfortable life in front of the TV and down the boozer.
So, look deep into your hearts, stare blanked-faced into the mirror and ask yourself, ‘Why should I sponsor this man of blubber’? Well, there’s probably a little piece of me in all of you (arf arf). What I mean is: I am the unmotivated, frustrated bug-bear that niggles at your conscience. This is your opportunity to give that little bug a kick in the face!
I’m not asking for much. Anything you can give will go towards a charity that helps thousands of people a year. But if you don’t do it for them, at least do it for me and show a little solidarity as we tackle idleness and procrastination together.
Join this fat bastard of as we battle the bulge together!
I’ll be giving a few updates of my training on my Twitter account and Facebook pages, so check back every five minutes to see if I’ve broken into a sweat.
Much love
