When Val ran the Brighton Marathon last year everything was going well and she was happy, but she said afterwards that she felt something wasn't right and was disappointed with her time. In June Val was diagnosed with cancer and on March 16th at just after 11pm she lost her brave fight against the disease. Here is my eulogy to Val which was given at her mass on Tuesday 19th March 2013.

When Valerie and I were married in this church in 2004 we both vowed we would stick together ‘In sickness and in health’ hoping and expecting that we would have many years of happiness ahead. Cancer shattered that hope.

When we remember Val we will always remember the spirit that she had, she was full of life and energy, devoted to her family and her work. We will remember the fun that we had together – dancing to europop on our camping holidays in the south of France, Val throwing herself into silly board games at dinner parties with friends – for example giving her attempt to mime ‘like a virgin’ by Madonna without using the words everything she had with very little attention to minor details like the melody or notes. How thoughtful she was, always putting others first and doing everything in her power to support and protect her family and friends.

Val was a strong woman, and when she spoke people listened and almost always ended up doing things her way, it was her way or the highway.

Val loved the sun and would go to extraordinary lengths to get a tan – booking her place at the poolside and basting herself for hours on end, she should be remembered with the sun on her face and a glass in her hand.

Val enriched the lives of others every day. She did this through her dedication to helping young people to learn, I have no doubt that Val would have made an excellent Head Teacher and she commanded respect from her students and colleagues, here was a force to be reckoned with, here was someone who had energy and drive and would get things done, who wouldn’t put up with nonsense and knew how to deal with people.   Less than a year ago Val seemed to be very fit, at her fittest ever, running a 20 mile run in March and the Brighton Marathon in April. It was around this time that I began to worry about Val’s health.  Her death certificate will say ‘natural causes’ but this awful disease feels anything but natural.

When she came back home to Kerry in February there were some concerns about the quality of healthcare she would receive here, these concerns were completely misplaced. Val has received wonderful support from Cancer Care Ireland and Dr O’Donovan who have visited every day since her return and Val’s sister Lindsay who cared for her in these last few weeks. She did absolutely the right thing in coming home.

 

Val was incredible throughout her illness, she was always thinking of others and rarely talked about herself. She fought hard and stayed very positive and she managed to minimize the anxiety and tension in the house for the sake of our beautiful children Ciaren and Orlaith who were constantly in her thoughts.

 

This was Val, Caring, a devoted mother, putting others before herself, working incredibly hard in her career yet giving so much love to the kids. Val’s death leaves a huge void in all of our lives, the challenge now is to fill that void with love, love of Val, respect for her wishes, opportunities to share happy memories and remember the fun we had together and love for her children, helping them to grow up in her image and with her love of life, devotion to others and her integrity. I will strive to do right by you Val and I will love you forever.