After ten years and approximately 36,500 cigarettes, I am giving up smoking for two reasons:

1. I would like to receive a letter from my mother that did not contain a clipping from the Daily Telegraph about the gruesome effects of smoking. The usual correspondence reads, "Hi Darling. Hope you're well. Enclosed an article about slow and painful smoking-related deaths. Enjoy!"

2. I've read so many clippings from The Daily Telegraph about slow and painful smoking-related deaths, I've decided I'd rather die naturally. Or even be hit by a bus.

There is one slight problem. I don't fulfil the essential criteria for successful abstention. Every advert, every resource, every sanctimonious ex-smoker has just one thing to say on the subject: "You have to want to give up." Well, I don't. I really, really like smoking. It's my favourite thing in the whole world. Ouch. My second favourite thing.

So I need a serious incentive to bolster my milk-livered willpower, and that's where you come in. Hit the 'Pay on Completion' button above and sponsor me to stay off the ciggies. If I've not had a cigarette by 1 May 2005, your card will be debited. If I fail, I pledge to pay the entire total to charity on your behalf. So there's the incentive. The more you sponsor me, the more a cigarette will cost me, the less likely I am to lapse. So dig deep. You're saving my life. Your money (or mine, as the case may be) is going to a great cause. The Refugee Council provides advice, support and essential welfare to thousands of refugees, and promotes tolerance and understanding of their plight. Are you listening, Michael Howard? So please give whatever you can through this online fundraising page. If you are a UK taxpayer, your donation will be increased by 28% at no cost to you. Find out how I'm getting on at www.ceruleansmoke.blogspot.com thanks everyone, j.x