I am 40, a wife, a mother to 3 young children, a police officer and I was diagnosed with grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma, breast cancer.

At the end of November 2019 I found a lump on my right breast just above my nipple in line with my milk ducts. I had been training hard getting in shape due to the prospect of turning 40. Initially I was not so worried as I had a cyst in the same place 20 years before, I thought it may have been an inflamed muscle, I had no other symptoms and no family history of breast cancer, none the less I went to get checked.

Within 11 days I was at the Churchill hospital being examined, the tests were coming thick and fast, I could barely keep up and during an ultrasound I remember seeing a black mass and having no clue of what it was I should be looking for. I had mammograms, something i should not have experienced for another 10 years, MRIs and biopsies. All the while thinking it was a muscle injury and I was just receiving the gold standard practice due to the Churchill's outstanding reputation.

4 days before Xmas (5 days after my last test) my bubble burst. I was told that I had 1 invasive grade 2 stage 2 ductal carcinoma tumour and 2 areas of DCIS. It later transpired that I had 3 tumours on my right breast but they had been hiding on my chest wall during the initial tests, the cancer was hormone fuelled and I had been lucky because it had only just started to attack my lymphatic system and my lymph nodes were unaffected at the point of diagnosis. I just remember that one moment in my life when everything stopped, time stopped, I stopped and the only thing moving were the tears running down my face.

I had a mastectomy on the 4th February along with reconstruction and started recovery, meanwhile tests results returned confirming that I needed 6 cycles of chemo (18 weeks in total) and 15 radiotherapy sessions followed by 6-10 years of hormone treatment and there was no possibility of having any more children, it was heartbreaking but I knew I had to be strong and be grateful for what I had, fighting this disease was my only hope.

2 days before chemo .... Covid-19 happened and my life started to fall apart, chemo was no longer possible due to the mortality rate and strained NHS resources, there would be no bed, no nurse & no ventilator for me if I fell in to difficulty. No one could save me and yet I knew deep down without chemo the chances of escaping a reoccurrence were minimal.

The next few weeks were spent challenging this decision. Cancer is terrifying but the prospect of being under treated and having to go through this all again was so much worse.

Worst of all I was separated from my family and I needed them more than ever, this was happening to them too and we couldn't fight shoulder to shoulder, they couldn't wipe my tears nor could I hug them and tell them we would be ok. Watching my children scared everytime I went to the hospital was too much to bare, the prospect of passing this illness to my daughter and the thought of her suffering broke my heart every day.

Cancer was having the worst impact on me, I tried to be positive, I didn't want to be another statistic, I wanted a future and then i reached out to Breast Cancer Now for help they were so kind, so supportive, so understanding! 

On Saturday 6th June I started my chemo and will eventually finish active treatment at the end of September and I am so grateful.

This is why I want to give something back to them and fund raise for this amazing charity, without them I don't know where I would have been.

If I can do anything to help raise money in hope of research, awareness, a vaccine, a cure i will. The thought of pushing myself 62 miles on a bike from London to Brighton in order to end this fight finally with my biggest supporters by my side is quite terrifying  but for such an amazing cause and the prospect of preventing this from happening to someone else ...... I'm in ❤️

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