Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

I am fundraising for Tiny Lives as they have had an incredible impact on our lives, especially our little baby Felix.

It all started in April 2013, on a Tuesday that I will remember for the rest of my life. I was 23 weeks pregnant with my third child, I also have two older children aged 4 and 3. My husband Martin and I were so excited but also quite nervous as we had gone through a miscarriage the year before. Our scans are 9 weeks, 12 weeks, 16 weeks and 20 weeks had all been perfect, and I really felt confident that everything would be OK. 

At 23 weeks I had one extra scan booked in (Doppler scan) this was to check the function of the placenta, as my middle child was growth restricted at birth. As the four previous scans had been OK we decided to take along our other children to see their little brother. As soon as the scan began I knew something was wrong, I couldn't make out the image on the screen immediately I looked at the sonographer who started to explain all the issues she could see. I had no amniotic fluid left around the baby, his growth was severely behind, he was not moving as he should be, his bowel was ecogenic, and the placental flow was being compromised starving him of nutrients and oxygen. I saw a consultant straight away who explained our baby would not make it to full term and he was at a high risk of being stillborn. The consultant said as soon as the placenta deteriorated any further then he would deliver the baby, and he believed it would in a few days. I asked what our baby's chance of survival would be and he said at that stage the baby would be not live. We were beyond devastated. We had decorated the nursery, bought him clothes, bonded with him and he wouldn't live. I saw bereavement midwives, and I was admitted to the ward for intensive monitoring. Test results showed I had severe pre-eclampsia which was causing the problems. It caused my kidneys were becoming weak, and I had high blood pressure. The only cure for pre-eclampsia is delivery of the baby, but right now he was too small to survive. We had to wait to see who deteriorated first the baby or me. 

I started to prepare myself for saying goodbye to our baby, I asked a friend to find an outfit for his funeral that would fit a 1lb baby, we named him Felix as it means happy and fortunate. The positive name gave us hope. Felix never did any better but the placenta did not deteriorate further either, and suddenly 2 months had past with me in hospital. The doctors knew the risk of stillbirth became higher now so I was booked in for c-section at 32 weeks. However a week before I felt really unwell, with an intense headache, and vision problems. Before I could be moved to delivery I began having seizures, my kidneys began to shut down and I was unconscious. I now had eclampsia.  Felix was born that day, weighing a tiny 1lb 6oz (600grams) he cried and I only caught a glimpse of him before he was taken to the Special Care baby unit.

Tiny Lives support the babies and families on the unit,  who care for up to 800 babies a year and caring for as many as 35 babies at any one time. The don't take all the worry and stress away, they provide those extras that can soften the blow. From the sticker diaries, memory boxes and star charts to chronicle the babies progress, to the specialist breast feeding support,  they fund a social workers to support families and a physiotherapist. They provide positioning aids to replicate the position of the womb, and supporting their development. They fund the noise level monitors to maintain a peaceful growing area for the babies, they fund the transport incubator to take the babies around the region. They also fund the parents flats where you can room in with your baby, for me and Felix this was the most special time. Our first one to one time and his brothers first chance to hold him.

Tiny Lives also fund the buddy group, which Felix and I attend. A peer support groups for parents past and present. Towards the end of our journey, whilst having a cuddle with Felix I told the ward sister Claire that I didn't think I would ever get over this experience, and it was then I learnt of the buddy group and its help and support have been invaluable to me.  

Felix was certainly one of the most fortunate babies, he spent a total of 8 weeks in Special Care. 1 week in intensive care, 4 weeks in high dependency, and 3 weeks in low dependency. He underwent many procedures and treatments including blood transfusions, an operation and he came home on oxygen. He was discharged weighing 3lb 10oz, and continues to amaze us everyday.

This Skydive is for Felix and all his special care friends, some who are still here and some who are angels in the sky. 

This is not something that I have ever done and is a personal challenge for me. I am nervous and yet excited about this challenge and my motivation for jumping out of the plane will be thinking about the courage and strength of all the SCBU babies.

Please please donate whatever you can afford to, without Tiny Lives our baby simply would not be with us.

Thank you from me and Felix 

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