Many people assume that because I live my dream job and commentate on motorsports that I am rolling in cash and happy as Larry. In fact, the truth is the exact opposite. Motorsport takes away the depressive mood swings and anxiety, but whenever i get home from a race meeting it comes right back again. I am on the autistic spectrum but have never been diagnosed, and have been suffering from depression now in varying degrees since I was 13. Nearly 20 years later and if anything it just gets harder to cope with every year. Today I finally have the courage to admit that I need help.

As a kid I wanted to race but had no money, and now as an adult I can't because I have a wife and kids to look after and cannot afford to get hurt. Despite working in my dream job as a motorsports commentator, I've found that being on the autistic spectrum and the demands of being self-employed and constantly living from pay check to pay check have left me dealing with stress, anxiety and depression. Karting has often helped me deal with these issues, but it costs too much and the risk of injury (and bankruptcy!) is a constant threat. I commentate from March to November, but in the winter I am living in a state of fear and anguish as to how on earth to make ends meet.

However thanks to the developing world of sim racing, I can fulfil my life's ambitions, improve my mental state of health, and still be a good father to my children and husband to my wife. When the MSA accepts eSports as an official form of motorsport as the ADAC in Germany have, I want to be ready to commit to it full-time as a competitor. Plus I can build this around an office to actually move my work out of my bedroom and end this horrific cycle of negativity I've fallen into.

The other good thing about this is that I won't need a new car every year or to raise a budget to race every year. Once I hit my target, that'll be all the money I'll need to raise for the rest of my eSports career, which I'm hoping will last the next three decades.

I apologise if this seems needy or even greedy to ask for help in this way and I understand if people think I'm just currying favour or using an excuse to get a new toy, but this is my best method of getting to a place of peace and I really want to give this a go to give myself the best possible chance of improving my mental wellbeing.

*EDITED TO ADD*

My wife has posted an update as to our situation below, and we have reduced the total we are raising from £5k to £3k because we have received offers of practical support and equipment in response to this.

And rest assured, anything we don't spend on the office will be donated to the National Autistic Society. Thank you.