Weʼre raising £10,000 to Help support me financially with my surgeries
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((Unfinished- Work in progress))
I think appearance is often something people take for granted. You wake up you look in the mirror and you're you. Simple, off out the door to live your life. You might not like how you look you may want to change certain things. But you're still yourself; things you hate and things you love. Life is simple.
For Transgender people that reality is a little different. The need to correct features and body proportions comes not from desire but from the same reason you'd need a broken bone treated. A genuine need that arises from a specific desynchronisation between the brain and the body that occurs long before birth. The brain continues to develop correctly whereas the endocrinolgy of the womb has an unintented effect on the fetus and causes a shift down a different developmental path for the rest of the body. It's not something we have control over. Gender is set from birth the people you see "transitioning" are doing no such thing they are just treating a condition that cause the development of the wrong endocrinology. I.e Trans people have always been the gender they tell you they are no matter how long it took to discover that. This is something that is thankfully beginning to come to light and be supported by preliminary research.
These studies corrobarate the age old line that I think everybody knows. "I'm X in an X's body". It rings true and often with things like these the answer was simple and in front of us all along.
The human brain is an incredibly complex and clever organ and it knows when there is something there that shouldn't be. After going through a puberty the brain was not designed for or expecting that panic or injury signal will tend to come from everywhere. Often this may manifest itself in the form of intense panic, distress and general dysphoric feelings. Though in more severe cases this can cause physical discomfort as though every afflicted part is out of place. If you have ever been unfortunate to have a dislocation of a broken bone, a burst appendix perhaps you will know the sickening "wrong" feeling unlying the acute pain. That is the sensation physical dysphoria. I have been unlucky enough to experience these for myself I can tell you with abolute surety the sensation is identical. A horrible feeling that never goes away day in day out, and combined with the genuine traumatic experience of seeing how your body has misformed is a living nightmare.
Often my life is struggling through my day until I can finally go to back to sleep. I am just surviving and not living. The condition impairs my ability to socialise properly with friends or family, prevents me from working and general fulfilment.
The condition can become very serious and very dangerous incredibly quickly and unfortunately as much as 40% of patients with this condition succumb to sucide or accidental deaths through risky Self or Home Surgeries, or incredibly dangerous cheap "Back Alley" surgeries because the support system is just not present in the NHS.
Facial, Vocal and general reconstructive surgeries are generally not funded but are absolutely vital to treating the condition post-puberty. At present the main treatment is still down a psychological route. While mental health support is important; ultimately the psychological distress is a symptom of the disease, not the cause. For example If you broke your leg and suffered and infection from the injury, just treating the infection will never heal the leg or stop the infection from returning again and again.
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Jessica-Anna White started crowdfunding