Hello everyone, my name is Joanne and I am hoping to raise funds to buy gym equipment and enrol a personal trainer for a small organisation called ‘Right Choice Housing’ and to do that, I intend to have all my hair cut off in November . If you know me, you’ll know exactly what kind of sacrifice this could be in different circumstances…but it is the very least I can do and I owe such a debt of gratitude to these wonderful souls, I do not see it as such.

In the photo I have attached, you will see me, Right Choice Housing Founder and Director Chez and my new henchman barber from Antalya Barbers in Harworth/Bircotes.

After you read my story below, you will see why I am asking you to help me pay it forward and help my heroes out. They might not be on the front line of a war but on a daily basis, they are battling people with emotional and mental issues. That takes a special kind of quality, non judgmental, someone with a big heart, big shoulders and the patience of a saint.

So, we all know that diet and exercise play a vital part to our health... I personally do many things for my well-being, starting with exercise and good nutrition ranking at the top of my list. I meditate, I work hard and I follow a good but not overbearing moral compass ....with a few glasses of red thrown in for good measure! I'm passionate about exercise and I strongly believe (along with the medical profession) that we all could benefit so much more physically and mentally from having a gym membership. This as we all know is pricey and often a daunting process for many, so I am trying to raise money for gym equipment instead. Motivation and a guide to proper equipment use will also be needed, so I plan on hiring a personal trainer, to make sure exercise is done correctly and of course to minimise injury also.I am already in talks with Personal Trainers Paul Lane and Celine from Retford.

The staff at RCH are so amazing that I just want to give something back, to help these type of people who selflessly care for so many others...

So, who are Right Choice Housing, to me and my family and for many, many others facing the same crisis, they are our life-line.Right Choice Housing provide sheltered accommodation to the homeless and ex-offenders.They also give support to vulnerable adults.Their aim is to ensure that residents embrace independent living ,one step at a time.

My story:

In the early 90s when I had my son I noticed behavioural issues from the time he became a toddler. My son's problems did not stem from his family background, schooling or upbringing; neither is he a product of his environment.

I have always worked hard, so have my parents whom despite having a demanding business, helped with him as much as they could. It always upset my parents to watch him grow up with all these issues, knowing their input was not making any real difference. It especially broke my late mum’s heart to see her grandson suffer in prison before she passed away a couple of years ago. My siblings hold degrees and have served in the military; we all had what we consider a well adjusted loving upbringing with our extended family members close by. As a family, we had never come across this, we all tried our best to deal with it but we all never got the professional guidance we needed.

Fast forward to teenage years, the behavioural issues worsened of course during this time. No matter how many times I went back and forth to the doctors etc, they said there was nothing wrong. (We all know our kids and as a mother, I was an advocate for my son and I knew they were wrong).

No matter how forceful I tried to be, no matter how determined, it just fell on deaf ears. I could talk your ears off describing all the red flags but it would take me forever and a day to go into such depth. He stereo typically ended up being labelled as a ‘bad kid, making bad choices’. This could not be further from the truth. The other side that more than just me know of him is loving, kind, gentle, considerate, giving, hard-working and reserved. Without hesitation he would offer help to anyone in need. He absolutely adores animals and kids.

The mental illness side of him, from a toddler until quite recently he never knew how to deal with it.He was not afforded the correct tools,expert counselling ,or proper treatment.

You see it in the news now and plastered over social media, thousands of people that have slipped through the nets for decades. Only now, are those in Parliament beginning to realise the scale of the mental health epidemic.

Unfortunately, for my son he is a grown man now and no longer qualifies for any of the upcoming treatments and facilities afforded to those of school age. He obviously turned to drugs, not because he wanted to, not because he could not get a job but because he had no professional help or care, it was the ONLY escape for him and what he thought, was a relief and treatment for his illness. This path of self medication knows no bounds, it made his mental illness worse but he was too invested in it to know any different. It was only recently that the medical profession realised their mistake in thinking drugs were his problem and not his mental illness. I never gave up on him, I knew this from the get-go.

I am so exhausted having been on this journey alone for so long, with no support from the government, NHS, the judicial system and apart from a few local officers wanting to help my son when he was so far removed from reality, no support from the Police. For the most part, the easiest solution was to lock him up, sometimes for crimes he did not commit (I know this for a fact, wrong place and wrong time scenario). I know he has not been an upstanding member of society due to many factors but he deserved better and did not deserve to be locked up as an answer.

Fast forward again...positive news at last, or so I thought until I witnessed my son’s time in the mental hospital system. He was sectioned (thank you, I said quietly under my breath), on the day he was about to be released from prison. Why would a mother want her son sectioned? Well, that is because at long last, someone in the medical profession recognised it was not drugs that were the cause of his behaviour. That whilst he used drugs, someone agreed that he did not need more prison time, he needed professional medical help. This mother too relieved knowing at least her son would not be out on the streets, or worse dead in an alleyway somewhere. Can you imagine as a parent for one moment, years of thinking this way.

My twenty nine year old son is currently living in one of Right Choice supported houses,Avondale House in Bircotes. He has been there since March of this year after spending six gruelling and painful to watch months, heavily sedated and subdued in mental health hospitals.

This time spent in hospital was beyond scary ; it was downright traumatic for him and especially all my family. It certainly gave us an insight of how desperate the NHS mental health situation actually is. I am not knocking the staff, just the facilities and the sheer lack of education and ability to deal with the mass. They truly are overwhelmed, overworked and behind the times.

He spent some time in private hospitals, dotted all around the country, as often there were no NHS beds available in our area, especially in what was considered the ‘better facilities’. The problem with private,is that it's all about the profits and not about the care. Two of the hospitals were really bad, (they had a reputation which lived up to its name). I was forever contacting bed management trying to get my son moved. What made it even more stressful for all concerned,they were so far away making it incredibly difficult to keep an eye on him unable to visit on a regular basis. Fewer visits did very little to his morale and definitely affected his progress.

My own emotional health has been affected over the years with the struggles my son has faced, especially so in the last ten years.Watching my son deteriorate, thinking every time a stranger knocked on my door, it was someone bringing bad news about him, knowing how ill he was fast becoming. I was pushed from pillar to post with every avenue I pursued . I even met with the local MP, which came to no fruition.

While my son has been residing at Avondale house, I can say with my hand on my heart, it is the very first time I've felt positive that he is actually receiving the right help, guidance and understanding he needs. Both my son and I have benefited from their help. I cannot praise them enough for what they have done and I truly believe that without them, I might have been writing a whole different story line right now. Perhaps a story with a grim ending, rather than one with renewed hope and positive beginnings.

The turnaround that I have witnessed in such a short time is not far shy from the miracle I have been praying for, although I know there is still a long way to go. I cannot thank these guys enough for their help. This is one of the ways I thought of that would benefit all concerned, I hope you agree!

.From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for taking time out to read my story. I hope you can help me pay it forward by donating whatever you can afford…trust me, every little bit helps and will be gratefully received and put to good use!!

Joanne.