Hi there, some of you may know me and others may not. I am normally a very independent woman who doesn’t like to ask for help, but due to continual health problems I really need support. My story begins with the birth of my third child - my daughter (Amy, turning 2 this year)

On the 16th of August 2016, I gave birth to a beautiful girl by C-section, however I developed an E-coli infection. Due to staff shortages and miscommunication this went untreated for several days. In turn, this led to my C-section wound opening and the release of blood and fluid. I thought this was horrific enough and was told the infection had left the body, but within less than 24 hours my bowel had made its way out in 3 separate sections. This still haunts me today, it was like a scene out of a Saw movie. I was lying on the bed being told not to move as panicked staff ran around, I was told to contact my family to let them know what was happening and still mother a new born baby.

I received a second operation (emergency) and was released 4 days after that. Things were never the same. I was continually at the GP with stomach problems including pain and tearing feelings and lots of problems with my bowel. I had to give up breast feeding which I was absolutely gutted about. In April 2017 I was admitted to hospital due to severe vomiting and stomach pains. I was told I had a small umbilical hernia but that it shouldn’t cause me any issues. At my six week checkup after my admittance, I was told my hernia was more pronounced and that I would need to go on an emergency waiting list to have it operated on.

On the 17th of August 2017 (1 day after Amy’s first birthday) I was admitted for my first hernia operation. I was due to be in and out on the same day, however the operation didn’t go to plan and I awoke with my siblings and husband surrounding me and was told I did not have a small umbilical hernia and in fact I had a very large hernia which required mesh for to repair. I remained in hospital for nine days with an abdominal drainage tube and having to learn all the basics again. e.g. walking, going to the bathroom etc. It was a long recovery process, and I still didn’t recover.

In September 2017 I was rushed to hospital in an ambulance due to severe stomach pains and vomiting. I had a CT scan done and it showed inflammation and fluid pockets that still had to be absorbed by the body. I was again admitted at the beginning of December 2017, this time the CT scan showed that the hernia was back and I had bowel pushing against the mesh. I had also developed a second hernia defect. I was then put on a waiting list to have this operated on. My body gave up on the 16th of January 2018 (1 day before my son Patrick’s 4th birthday) and I was admitted for possible bowel strangulation which can be fatal. The pain was horrendous and the pain recovering from this operation was just as bad. I was stapled this time as it was an emergency operation - which is barbaric, and I developed another infection, which again led to wound deheiscence. This took place in my own home after having the staples removed and the wound reopened in three places. What is worse is this happened in front of the children, and it’s not like you can hide a nightgown covered in blood and fluid. There was a mad dash to the GP as we were wary of organs popping out again. It took six weeks for all 3 openings to finally stop leaking fluid. My husband (who is by the way a complete saint and has been my rock through all of this), the GP and nurses were continually redressing the wound, and even then I was afraid to go in the bath for a long time as you’re made aware that the skin and tissue is soft and can part.

During the healing period I started feeling tearing again and I knew something wasn’t right. This time I decided to see a specialist. The specialist put me on an emergency waiting list for a CT scan at Aberdeen hospital. I had a meeting at the hospital with 2 out of 3 specialists and was told that I had lots of inflammation and multiple hernias. They went over a brief outline of what they could do to tackle the issue, but they didn’t seem very confident in the way they spoke, the meeting was cut short, and I came out with many more questions. I sent an email to the specialist regarding all my questions after the meeting, e.g. method of hernia repair, type of mesh used, the expertise of the surgeons that would be performing the operation… This was at the beginning of March, yet I am still waiting.

We decided to get a second opinion as my hernia was more complex than we first thought, we also contacted NHS governance and got a copy of my CT scan. Aberdeen hospital held back quite a lot of information from the scan. Not only did I have 4 hernias, but two of them have bowel trapped in them, a suture from the previous operation seems to be loose. I have a lot of inflammation, my body is now pre-menopausal, and there were issues around my bone density and lung air sacs. I researched all of Scotland to find who had expertise with complex hernias and the name Andrew De Beuax kept appearing on internet searches. We booked an appointment with him in Edinburgh. Andrew was very forthcoming and informative, he is all about the patient and getting the best care for them. He showed us before and after pictures from similar cases to myself, went over the type of mesh he would use, the type of cut he would be using, tissue damage, nerve damage, every question we had he gave us an answer for. We walked out feeling very confident that this is the person we needed to finally fix me. However, in order to have Andrew do the operation, we would need to pay privately. I have spoken with the GP in order to get my care transferred from Aberdeen hospital to Edinburgh hospital, but my GP didn’t sound confident due to the fact Aberdeen can perform the operation and the NHS don’t like reallocating funds. If Edinburgh Royal hospital could take me we have been told that the earliest they could take us would be around Christmas/New Year, so we run the risk that I spend Christmas in a hospital in Edinburgh.

For those who know me well, you’ll know that Christmas has not been the same for the past 2 years, and the idea of spending Christmas in a hospital, away from the children is just heartbreaking. There is also no guarantee we can get Edinburgh Royal hospital.

I struggle with pain on a daily basis and it is progressively getting worse. I live in fear of being taken back into Aberdeen as an Emergency case, as in an emergency operation, it is just whatever general surgeon that is on that will do the operation and things like staples etc can be used. i dont want to have to be in and out of hospital for the next however long. There are so many restrictions on the things I can do too. My son Patrick has asked me to teach him how to swim, yet I can’t actually swim myself at the moment because the pain is too much. It feels like my life has been on hold since August 2016 and I just want to be the best mum I can be. Small things like doing the school run kills me, but i grin and bare it as i want to be there for my children.

I wouldn’t normally ask for handouts, but the people I would normally turn to (mum and dad) are no longer here to help. My father passed away of a sudden heart attack which was very hard on all the family in 2016, and my mother passed away in a horrific fire in 2017. To be honest, with all my health problems I don't actually feel i have managed to even grieve the loss of my parents. I know my mother was a fighter though, and that she has passed that on to me. Many in the health profession have stated that I am unlucky. They have never met my family and friends though. If they had, they would know I am one of the luckiest people as I have so many loving and caring people in my life. Whatever lies ahead, as much as it aches inside, the tears, the pain the battling, I must remain positive and give my children, my husband and my family the best I can.

So that's where Ii am today. I will fight through it, I wont moan about it and I will try my hardest to get the best treatment I can. If you have any spare change, can you please show me some empathy and help me to raise enough funds to hit my target.

Many thanks for taking the time to read my story.