Nicky’s Story...

Soo my little angel Owens story and life with us.

I hold my hands up I was a kid having a kid, I was naive, didn’t know what I was doing but I was having a beautiful baby boy.

I fell pregnant when I was only just turned 15, and I had the most perfect pregnancy so happy and felt great.

I the December of 2003 nearing my January due date, I started with hospital trips regularly constantly being told that I quote ‘THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR PREGNANT’.

I was having contractions I remember Christmas Day 2013, I spent every single day after that up at the hospital then sent back home again. I mean every day aswell!

Then we had my birthday, 30th December in hospital the contractions were getting stronger and the pain was intense.

Looking back hindsight is a great thing but I was a kid doing what the doctors told me to do - I was given a cocktail of medication for the pain and to help me at night - this lasted for another few days as I was only 3cm dilated. They don’t class that as full blown labour apparently!! I was in and out being told to take warm baths and the medication given to me then In the end my dad took me to the hospital after already 3 days in full labour on and off in hospital and many days before contracting - he took me in and said he REFUSED TO TAKE ME HOME AND I NEEDED HELP!

He begged and pleaded, I begged and pleaded! So I was admitted properly into hospital until I had my baby boy - this was my 3rd day of active labour and still being only being monitored and given medication.

I didn’t know if this was normal or not but I could see that my family were scared!

I remember begging for a c-section stupid like a kid when they said no, I said my dad would pay for one.

I was so tired and in pain I wanted to have my baby boy!

We were 5 days in FULL BLOWN LABOUR 5cm dilated only a bit of progression my waters wouldn’t break so they broke them, then things started moving!

On January 6th 2004, I had my precious baby boy Owen.

He didn’t cry.

I remember the midwife giving him to me he was a dead weight and wasn’t crying, I know this sounds always but he felt dead weight heavy fish I remember that’s how I explained it back then.

I was screaming that he wasn’t crying, and asking for help.

My midwife told me to slap his back a few times, it felt like torture.

I still never heard him cry, that’s all I ever wanted to hear when most people moan about babies crying I was hoping and praying for that sound.

A little later which felt like forever they took Owen away, he went with the emergency team to the NNU and was placed on life support.

Owen had various brain scanning over the next few days on a life support machine, I stayed at the hospital and didn’t leave him. We had our own room so he could sleep with his machine in my bed. Family visited him, like he was a healthy normal baby. They’d already said they’re was no brain activity! Everyone said I was like a shell with nothing inside and to be honest I don’t remember everything.

The next day the 9th of January, I was told there was no hope. Due to lack of oxygen to the brain Owen was pronounced officially brain dead after 3 days with no activity in the, they called him a vegetable and said that’s the life he’d had if he’d have survived.

The told me they had to turn off the life support machine, so late that night they did. I remember him grabbing my hand they said it was just reflexes from being on the machine.

I bathed him after they’d taken him off the machine cleaned him and out his best outfit on for him and laid him in his Moses basket! I spent hours with him. Holding him!

I kept taking him out the Moses basket I couldn’t leave him.

Owen also suffered with group B strep something women can carry when pregnant which contributed to his death as he wasn’t treated and I didn’t know I had it.

The cocktail of medication delayed my labour as-well.

I will never give up trying to do Owen proud. 6-1-04 to 9-1-04