On 23rd April I'll be taking part in the London Marathon. I would love you to support me and here's why - I have secondary breast cancer and it's incurable. By doing the London Marathon I'll be living a 34 year old dream 2 days after my 46th birthday whilst raising money for the Wessex Cancer Trust, a charity that has given me and my family so much support and comfort.

In 1983 I wrote a school project called “Me”. In it I listed my hopes for the future: to sail around the world, to ride in the Grand National, to be a teacher, to run the London Marathon. The first 3 either happened (17 years of teaching), semi happened (3 Atlantic crossings and a few miles in between) or were never going to happen in a million lifetimes (somehow the right horse just never came along!) but the fourth is still a dream… Until now.

Why 34 years? Years of excuses, work, family… maybe not liking running was a contributing factor here too?!

So why now? In 2011 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Months of surgery and chemotherapy meant I was all clear… But along the way I'd lost my left breast, my hair, my toenails, my confidence. Counselling from dear Ros at Wessex Cancer Trust and much love and support from family and friends slowly helped me to come to terms with the turmoil a cancer diagnosis brings. I was a mummy aged 40 with a 4 year old and a 1 year old and I needed to believe in my new future. I started to look ahead again; volunteered for ChildLine; had a job interview lined up; together with James we made plans for the years to come.

Then in 2015 I was told that the cancer had come back and this time it had spread to my lungs. Secondary breast cancer, incurable. Fear, sadness and the loss of so many dreams. Having to tell friends and family is more painful than ever imaginable. How to tell your 8 and 5 year old children? How to translate everything you’ve been told in the oncologist’s room so that they can begin to take on board the enormity of Mummy’s situation? How to move forwards when all that’s certain is the uncertainty. Will the treatment work? For how long? What then..?

But slowly I’ve learnt to focus on what is possible… the here and now. Just do it. Get on with it. Now! And again with the support of Wessex Cancer Trust, the amazing oncology team at Southampton General Hospital and our ever loving circle of family and friends it feels safe enough to dip into those dreams once more. A few holidays together are planned. A few weeks spent without going anywhere near Southampton General Hospital. Many joyful days just being Mummy to our precious children.

And so here I am, training hard to walk the 26.2 mile London Marathon as fast as I can with my dear brother Nick. The training hurts some days... but not nearly as much as having cancer hurts. I'm determined not to let the physical and emotional exhaustion and the side effects of so much treatment stop me from achieving my dream but, if I'm honest, just getting to the start line will be an achievement. Here's to ticking off those training miles and staying fit & well...

I am so very grateful to Wessex Cancer Trust for giving me the chance to live this dream. Over the years their support has been vital to me and my family. And to hundreds of others too.  They can’t make us better - only the wonders of modern medicine, the amazing doctors and nurses and a hefty dose of luck can do that. But they can definitely help us to FEEL better and that, in the here and now, is worth so much. So that's why I'd love to thank Wessex Cancer Trust by raising £20,000. This will fund a whole year's worth of outreach counselling in local hospitals (Southampton, Portsmouth, Basingstoke) for patients and their loved ones facing a cancer diagnosis. And the £20.17?? Well, that's because next year my dream target will be £20.18... and so on for many many years!

So please think of Nick and I as we line up on the start line on 23rd April. Donate if you can. And send us your blessings and good wishes for a speedy, safe and happy marathon. Nick has promised to get me to the finish line even if it means pushing, pulling or even carrying his big sister so an extra strong good luck to him!

And thank you all… for your support, your hope, your love. It will always be appreciated. Here's to us all living our dreams and making our memories...

With much love,

Fi xx

PS Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity. Thank you.