Somehow managed to get the 25 mile trip last year but the handicapper has taken a very dim view on my performance and raised me to a 50 mile mark. Not happy as this will mean that I will have to drink even more beer than usual just to keep hydrated during my tough training regime - actually been training on the beer side for the past six months and think I am getting up to the required level, even though I have no memory of how many beers I have sunk to get to said level.

But I am a fighter and will drink my way through this tough time in my life - new shiny bike purchased in the hope it makes me go faster. So please whack some cash this way to help us home some lovely and loving greyhounds, who are the most wonderful pets and companions on the planet - I thank you in advance for your kind generosity.

And now, I have somehow been enrolled into the 52 miles London to Southend ride on 22 July, a week before the 50 miles Ride London. Training has been tough, what with the World Cup and the hot weather - both of which seem to bring on ridiculous beer drinking binges, which can make it a little tricky to keep one's balance on some poxy thin wheeled bike that apparently has a mind of it's own!

Anyway, if you would like to help the cause and spur me on to such death defying stunts of human endurance, you know what to do - and it's pay day tomorrow!