Elizabeth Stewart
Elizabeth's Cycle for Grace
Fundraising for Held In Our Hearts
Story
***UPDATE CHALLENGE COMPLETED***
I did it!! 500km on my spin bike in june 2020 done. This week I picked up an injury so had to break my last 32km into chunks of 5km and 2km to complete the distance.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all for donating to my challenge, I really cannot explain how much this has meant to me and my family. Thank you!!
Since we lost Grace, and going into lockdown my overall coping strategy has been to put a brave face on, and keep going for the sake of my beautiful kids Robyn and James. They are the only reason I've gotten up every day, dressed and put myself back into the world. When they are awake the keep me going, but in the evening and night time it's been when all my grief, pain and trauma of losing Grace surfaces. This is when Held in Our Heart has saved me. By emailing my befriender Heather in the middle of the night when I couldnt sleep because of flashbacks or nightmares. By Ailsa and Jen counselling me, listening to the worst physical aspects of delivering Grace and the emotional trauma it has left. By bereavement groups with other parents and amazing members of the Held in Our Hearts team virtually sending hugs, love, and care. I want to thank you all for what you have and will do for me and all other parents that have lost children.
And finally, i need to thank my amazing husband Ross. Who held my hand every step of the way, who made me strong, who helped me hold, love, and care for Grace when she was born, even though I was terrified of looking at her falling in love and then having to let her go. Grace had the best daddy in the world.
All my love, liz xx Held In Our Hearts
Our Story of beautiful Grace 💕
Lockdown 2020 has been so difficult for everyone in many ways. For me, it brought an increased sense of isolation and loneliness that I had already been feeling since we lost our baby 3 months ago, when I was 6 months pregnant.
Her name was Grace, and she was perfect in every way. She had big hands like her sister, and a face just like her big brother. There is no words to describe how much I miss, and love her. Body and mind both think that you have had a baby, and yet there is no baby to feed, smell, or love. The overwhelming feeling of loss is so powerful it can sink you into the deepest, darkest hole.
The time we had with Grace when she was delivered asleep was so precious, and lucky (if I can use that word in these circumstances) to share them with my husband and family until we had to let her go and say goodbye.
Unfortunately, there are so many people going through such a horrendous life changing loss, with no physical or emotional support from partners or family because of coronavirus.
As I have been going through my grief in isolation, Held in Our Hearts has been a constant source of support from some truly strong, inspiring women. Through bereavement parent groups, befriending, and counselling over email and zoom, I and so many other mothers are weathering the storm.
This is why I have decided to help this charity by raising money. I plan to complete 500km on my spin bike in the month of June. I shall post weekly updates of my progress, and all being well despite 2 kids, lockdown and a GP husband, I will succeed.
Some of you know that I have had a fairly sporty past. But after 4 pregnancies in 5 years my body has taken a beating, so this will be no walk in the park. I am really hopeful to reach my cash target so as to help this amazing charity to support other families that have to go through what we have. I am very grateful for all your support, thank you so so much.
Love, Liz xx