The Lullaby Trust is the biggest UK Charity dealing with SIDS losses. They do research into the causes of SIDS and are the leading advice in safe sleeping for infants. When one loses a baby to SIDS it is pretty much classed as unexplained, which translates to, for most parents, for no reason. Imagine that. Imagine being told that nobody knows why your baby died, nobody can offer you any explanation for it, and you're never given any closure.
That's what we live with. The fact that no matter what you do, no matter how careful you are, this shit can still happen. And then we're left to contend with the feelings of anger at other people who aren't as careful as we were. A wild hopelessness that nothing we will ever do will be enough, not in general and not to stop this happening again.
If something can happen for no reason then there need no reason for it to happen again.
The Lullaby Trust offer help for bereaved parents, and that help comes in many forms. It can come in the form of signposting to specialised counsellors, as well as "befrienders" – those whose babies have died some four or more years prior, people who understand the things you're thinking and how that can affect you.
But that's not where their help ends.
They also offer more practical support when it comes to subsequent pregnancies and babies and as anybody that has been through pregnancy after loss knows that can be one of the most terrifying experiences. This isn't limited to those whose babies have died of SIDS, their CONI scheme is for SIDS deaths, and CONI PLUS for those whose babies have died for other reasons. They offer up extra health visitor visits, they offer baby passports for A&E (enabling you to be seen faster, as you've a history of something serious), they offer respiration monitors too (the probes for it are quite expensive). Due to funding restrictions these can sometimes be difficult to access, especially in London. The trust needs more dosh for those things.
They stepped in on my behalf when Lewisham couldn't afford to give me the probes for the breathing monitor. And they do brilliant research into the possible causes and risk factors associated.
All of these things don't come cheap, and so we want to help pay back some of their kindness.