I met Kay in December 2015, volunteering at Crisis@Christmas.  Deptford day centre.   Crisis is a charity close to her heart, and instead of flowers, food or anything else, a donation in her name to Crisis would be a fitting memory for that amazing woman.

Sadly, after a life time battle with her mental health, Kay took her own life on the morning of Tuesday the 5th of October 2021.

About a month ago we were writing an article for a magazine about how we met, in her own words, "I grew up in a small village outside of London. There was one woman who was involved with Crisis, so she’d put on events like carol concerts which we’d help out with. I’ve known about Crisis since I was about 10 years old.

I’ve got two children from a previous relationship. In 2015, they were going to spend Christmas with their father in Ireland, so I was going to be alone. I wanted to do something worthwhile and thought that Crisis might need Christmas volunteers, so I signed up.  It was interesting, I didn’t know what to expect. I signed up as an IT activity lead and was thinking about all of the different sessions I could run, but it turned out they didn’t need it. The guests wanted to check their social media and emails.

From the first day I was hooked, I did two shifts. Then I signed up as a general volunteer on a third shift.

It was during that Christmas that I met my husband Brad. It was his first year of being shift lead. I’d met him around the centre, and I think our first conversation was when I wanted to sign up for the third shift. We had another conversation after that, but that was it.

Through that second conversation, we found that we both worked in IT, and he’d said he’d wanted to look for a new job. I added him on LinkedIn, then we added each other on Facebook and we chatted a bit. Then, a few months later, we had a discussion on Facebook, then two weeks later, we went on our first date.

I was living in Stafford at the time, and he was in London, so I’d go to visit him over the next few months. Then it ended up that I was on his shift team at Christmas. After that Christmas, I moved to a different centre!

I was coming down from Stafford every couple of months after that. Then in 2017, my children and I moved to London. We got married in 2019 at Gypsy Hill Brewery and in lieu of wedding presents we asked for donations to Crisis instead!

We do that for most birthdays and occasions now - Crisis is something we both really care about."

More from the article: 

Any funny stories/experiences over the years? 

Kay: There’s probably a story from every year. One that sticks out from the first year, when I was doing the IT activities, it was strange as you didn’t really get connection with people. But when I did the general volunteer role on third shift you’d get to sit down and talk to guests. There was a huge realisation that people have a story. Quite often when we see homeless people, it can so be easy to jump to conclusions, but when you sit down and talk to people, you realise it’s not a conscious choice that they’re homeless – it’s often bad luck or a series of events that led them there.

You’re reminded that there’s so much we take for granted. One year, I was working with an Irish guest, he’d be thrown out by mother and had come to London. He’d been found rough sleeping in a graveyard. A friend of mine had been in a similar situation a number of years ago. We were able to get him a ticket back to Ireland once he’d made up with his mum.

How have things changed over the years? Have the demographic of people changed? 

Kay: It’s difficult to pin down changes before last year. I started off in a day centre and then I moved to the Link which is a residential centre.
There’s nothing quite like walking into a room of sleeping people there and knowing people are safe, with full stomachs. It’s quite something.

Last year really, really different. We didn’t have as much guest contact, but it felt like we were actually able to provide a better service for guests. They had their own rooms and you had more time for the guests. It was far easier to follow up with people because you knew where they were.

What would you say to anyone thinking of volunteering?  

Kay: I’d encourage that they do it. I’d say go into it with an open mind but make sure you’ve got a packet of tissues with you at all times!

Best thing about volunteering?

Kay: Meeting my husband has certainly been an adventure. I’ve made firm friends with some of the other volunteers. It’s such an intense experience, getting it all set up, supporting the guests. It’s a real bonding experience. I think I’ve become a more well-rounded person since I’ve been volunteering.