Someone that is very close to me had so many people that loved him but he felt so alone. He laughed and smiled, took himself off home, sat in his favourite armchair and took a concoction of painkillers, sedatives and Anti-depressants. He wanted to end his own life but luckily someone found him, called an ambulance and as a result he is still here.
Let me tell you a little bit about about this person. The people that know him think that he is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet and they love him dearly. He is the type of guy that you would have a conversation with and walk away thinking “what a really nice man”. Unfortunately he suffers with a crippling anxiety disorder.
You look at this man and you think he is doing alright in life - he has a stable marriage, and he owns and runs a successful small business. We can all be guilty of looking at peoples lives through a shop window and saying I want that. I did. And then an anxiety disorder blew up in his face and no one could understand why.
He told me that 2016 was the greatest year of his life. His business was doing really well and even better then that was the birth of his first child. He loved her and spent an amazing 7 months learning to be the best dad. He told me a story about dancing around his front room with his little girl in his arms whilst his wife sang to them.
His little girl was born early summer and she was the easiest baby in the world, really relaxed and happy. They had just spent their first Christmas together. And then his anxiety disorder hit him like a train. He had a nightmare about harming his little girl which triggered intrusive thoughts about harming her. The answer was various prescriptions for sedatives, anti-depressants and sleeping pills. He tried to fight this battle in his head, whilst trying to be there for his wife and his little girl. It got to the point where every time he was near his little girl he started suffering from intrusive thoughts. He tried to be a good dad even though he was scared of being alone with her. It destroyed him.
A few years ago, I was with him in his garden when he was cutting the grass. He stopped the lawn mower and I saw him pick up a snail and move it to a flower bed. I asked him what he was doing and he said “Mate, I cant kill a snail” and it was true. He wouldn't even hurt a fly.
Anxiety disorders destroy peoples lives. People end up having to have to live apart from their partners and children, hoping that one day they can be strong enough to find a way back.
I am running for OCD Action to raise awareness of this illness. These people need help, support and most importantly someone to talk too.
You can follow me on Twitter @mikerunsforOCD. Please like or retweet my posts so that people out there who are suffering in this way know that they aren't on their own.
Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.
Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.