In October September 2016 I was happily 6 months pregnant with my first baby. It had been a long and sometimes painful journey to this point with a number of miscarriages and corrective surgery to my uterus. My pregnancy was uncomplicated and I was so excited about finally becoming a mother and joining that Mothers' Club that I had been excluded from until now. 

My close friend Emily Shaw was also pregnant, with twins and I was delighted to receive the news that James and Isabel were born on 21st September 2016. We went to visit Emily and her husband Pete a week later and I was blown away by how tiny and wondrous these little creatures were. The labour had been traumatic but I could see how in love Pete and Emily were. I was excited for myself too.

Six weeks later I got a text from another close friend saying that James was very unwell in hospital. When I spoke to her, I burst into tears. It was very very bad news. I well up now as I write this because, having given birth to my beautiful baby boy Jacob on 30th January 2017, I can get a flash of what it would be like to receive the news that your baby son might die. I get the flash and then I block it out. I can't go there. Tragically, my friends Pete and Emily were thrown in there. Their beautiful baby boy, James Shaw, boy died of sepsis on 31st October 2016. The trauma doesn't end there as you will read in their story below.

I can't bare to think about the level of grief they have endured but I can bare to schlep round 12.5 miles of London's finest parkland to raise money for life-saving equipment for Great Ormond Street Hospital. At mile 11, I will imagine a new born baby boy hooked up to a ventilator that's keeping him alive. I will imagine the moment where an exhausted doctor at Great Ormond Street tells his parents he is going to live. Take a few moments to imagine that yourself. Then click on Donate. 

Little Jimmy's story (by mummy Emily and daddy Pete):

On 21st September 2016 our baby boy James William Shaw was born. Three minutes later his twin sister Isabel followed, two beautiful new siblings for our 18 month-old daughter Alexa. Jimmy really was exceptionally handsome with a full head of auburn hair with a highlight streak of blond on his crown, which had seemingly already undergone a designer haircut/styling, so that the nurses at Queen Charlotte’s Hospital nicknamed him ‘One Direction’. Both twins were thriving at home and we were excitedly beginning to look to the future together as a family of five.

At just five and a half weeks old our little Jimmy became suddenly, unexpectedly and desperately unwell with presumed sepsis (an overwhelming infection) and a complicating blood clot to his bowel. Despite the heroic efforts of the staff of our local hospital, the Children's Acute Transfer Service (CATS) ambulance team and ultimately Great Ormond Street Hospital Intensive Care Unit, Jimmy could not be saved. He died in our arms on the evening of 31st October, covered in the kisses of his mummy and daddy who told him how loved he was. It is beyond words how traumatised we were left by those 2 days of seeing him so desperately unwell and how bereft Jimmy’s death left us, our hearts were truly broken.

Three weeks after Jimmy died, and just two days after we had buried him, his twin sister Izzy too suddenly became unwell of an unrelated condition (a diaphragmatic hernia with malrotation), we were just seemingly that unlucky. Within 24 hours Izzy was undergoing emergency, life-or-death surgery at Great Ormond Street. We genuinely believed we were going to lose a second child that day, it was nothing short of torture. Thankfully Izzy’s operation was successful and she recovered.

Jimmy's mummy Emily is a hospital doctor, and can hand-on-heart honestly say that in 12 years experience as a clinician has never seen such a unanimous, continuous and determined effort and bloody-minded resolve to save a life as with Jimmy. The medical staff gave blood, sweat and tears to save our little boy, he received the best possible care in the world, by the most humane doctors and nurses we have ever met and for that we are beholden to them. Beyond the world-class care both he and Izzy received at GOSH, our family received unbounded care and kindness, practical support (such as neighbouring accommodation) and pastoral support that continues to this day (including bereavement counselling). GOSH gave us our very best hope of saving Jimmy, saved the life of Izzy and took extremely delicate and humane care of us parents in the process.

Very soon after these experiences we became resolved on trying to repay some of our perceived incalculable debt to GOSH, nurture something positive out of such a tragic loss and continue to strive to keep Jimmy’s memory alive. We are pulling together an army of impossibly loyal family and friends to join us in fundraising a hugely ambitious amount of money for GOSH, specifically in Jimmy’s name, as his legacy.

With £260,000 raised in total so far, we have already paid for five new ventilators for GOSH in Jimmy’s name and are well on our way to kitting out two theatres state-of-the-art surgical theatres. More information about our shopping basket can be found here: 

https://www.littlejimmybrighterfuturefund.com/shopping-list <https://www.littlejimmybrighterfuturefund.com/shopping-list>

More information may be found at www.littlejimmybrighterfuturefund.com <http://www.littlejimmybrighterfuturefund.com/>

A video of our story made by Amazon Prime can be viewed on these links:

https://mobile.twitter.com/primevideouk/status/1010512175507689472?s=12 <https://mobile.twitter.com/primevideouk/status/1010512175507689472?s=12>

https://www.facebook.com/QueensTennis/videos/473014696491154/ <https://www.facebook.com/QueensTennis/videos/473014696491154/>

Please join us in fundraising and/or give what you can.

Love and gratitude from Pete, Emily, Lexy and Izzy Shaw xx

You can donate directly here.

If you wish to get in contact with us please do so at 

littlejimmybrighterfuturefund.com <http://littlejimmybrighterfuturefund.com/>

Please if you wish to send us a cheque, make it out to Great Ormond Street Hospital Children’s Charity or GOSHCC and send it with a note that the money is to go into the Little Jimmy Brighter Future Fund to Marisa Goldsborough, 40 Bernard St, Bloomsbury, London WC1N 1LE

If you wish to donate either by bank transfer or payroll donation please email us on littlejimmybrighterfuturefund and we will forward you the GOSH account details.

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