My name’s Brian and I hate marathons.

I love the Worthing Food Foundation (part of the Les Alden Foundation). It’s a beautiful organisation doing vital work in our community and is run by genuinely amazing volunteers – except for those that made me do this.

They know who they are. They will feel my wrath.

But I don’t like marathons. I don’t like the training. I don’t like my weird purple toenails. I don’t like the fact that I have to apply Vaseline in places I do not wish to think about. I don’t like the yoga. I don’t like the rain. I don’t like when people say I’m doing well. I don’t like when people don’t say I’m doing well.

I do like the pasta.

Also, why am I not losing any weight?

Support me if you can. The money will go to an excellent and essential local organisation, and it will make all my pain, and the pain and boredom of those close enough to hear my moans, worthwhile.