London to Paris Cycle!!!!

 

Day 1 London- Calais

 

(Well can we start with Day -1 actually??…. In preparation for the ride my body decided that fainting when getting a simple injection would be the way forward and my brain took the choice of leaving my wallet on the floor at work as a good idea!!!)

 

Woke up at 5.30am, had been up packing until gone midnight the night before….Two Wheatabix (Wheatbixes?! Wheatabi??? Plural help needed!!) and two bananas was the breakfast of choice and two rucksacks of goodness was the cargo….jumped on the bike to make it to ChildLine head offices at the ripe old hour of 6am…

 

Sitting around a group of folks that number 20 people (18 of which I had not met before….one of which I noticed was wearing jeans!!! I though that was very casual…I liked it!)…I had another banana which was probably the most bananas my body had consumed in a 1-hour period, I was ready to go!!! Few polite small talk snippets, photos, and we were off….whooping a-plenty into the morning traffic of Liverpool street!!!

 

20 miles in I got my first puncture!!!! Jumped off and sorted that….a wonderous chap named Chris stopped off and kept me company while I changed me tire, turns out he had one a few miles back….he could share my pain!!! Off we rode, in search of some luncheon, picking up Subita, Laura and Rebecca on the way….only a few miles later Chris got a puncture again!!! (This was a bit of a theme for Chris, I think he ended up with 7 punctures and a broken chain during the enTIRE ride!!! Still smiling though!!!)… Place names that were punctuated with the word “Hill” soon became the enemy of my legs!!

 

Made it to luncheon, after getting lost…saw a road marked “Leeds” which was a worry….I later was informed that there are more than one Leedses in England, damn my lack of geographical nous!!! Onwards and upward to the ferry port in Dover…. This last section was riddled with hills…. Nick dubbed me “Mr Banjax” for the way I cycled up hills….very wobbly indeed!! One of the hills, a devilishly steep one, almost got the better of me… My legs almost ceased up and I fell into some delightful bramble bushes…. A little scratch on the elbow was my first of two battle scars!!!

 

Now you may be wondering how the navigation of such a journey occurs…. Well there is a support van that goes ahead before we set off of a morning and marks the road with little orange arrows…. These orange arrows become your friends and if  you don’t see one for a while you feel quite lonely and lost…. As we got into Dover, Nick and I was abandoned by the arrows and decided to head for the sea… after cycling around like aimless souls we saw a flash of orange in the distance which eventually lead us to the port…. Food and rest!!

 

T’was dark when we arrived in Calais, we had a little cycle to the hotel and I met another rider called Carly…. Now I couldn’t resist using a northern accent to announce the fact that “Carly….is in Calais!!!” (and repeat)… Im sure it was met with mild confusion! Arrival and then bed… My room-mate was Sean - a man who makes more noises of a random nature than me -I knew we would get on fine!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Day 2 Calais – Abbeville

 

This was my favourite day! Woke up at 6.30am for breakfast at 7am then was out on the road. Was a mild, sunny day and I set off with Ester, Laura and a few other folks. All was good until we got lost!! Orange arrows again had deserted us but low and behold Ester and Laura navigated us out of trouble and lead us to lunch.

 

Straight after lunch there was an incident…. For the purposes of legality it shall be described as a coming together… Ester informed me the people behind us had slowed down, so naturally I put on my brakes…. Ester decided I would be her brake and we ended up in a heap on the road, falling onto Ester’s shoulder! A French couple and our fellow riders rushed to our aid (the couple simply said if you don’t see stars in your eyes you are ok!!!)… The back of my knee had a little scratch after getting overly acquainted with Ester’s bike-chain so I had to get that cleaned…Ester begrudgingly got into the van to see if her shoulder was ok as her bike would not have been safe to ride… The wonderful Connie first-aided me up and then escorted me to the next water stop... On the way we saw a cow standing on a cow… A COW ON A COW!!! AMAZING!!! BEAUTIFUL scenery today, I was taken aback on many occasions!!…. Caught up with the others about an hour or two later at the water stop…. One of the crew had a megaphone and I arrived to my name being chanted through it…. WONDERFUL!!! Cycled back to the hotel for more dinner and fun conversations plus a bottle of cider, which was DELICIOUS!!!!!

 

Day 3 Abbeville – Beauvais

 

Rain was our friend. I had the idea of using Vaseline as a layer of clothing to combat the cold that rain was sure to bring… I shall let you into a not-very-secret secret… You have to cape your lower regions in Vaseline to ensure a more comfortable ride… Just though you might appreciate that visual….

 

To attempted to lessen wet feet levels I wore a sock-plasticbag-sock-plasticbag-sock situation about my feet…(It didn’t work!!!)… Jean-enthusiast Claudia stuck with the denim… Much respect!!!

 

There was a rumor that some locals had decided to remove our orange navigational arrows so we were extra cautious with our maps and didn’t get lost ….much!!

 

Soaked through within minutes, it was a very enjoyable ride…. The rain kept us cool and added even more tranquility to the French countryside…. On the last climb up to a water stop I got my second puncture…. I allowed Seb of the crew to give my bike the tlc it required, handing over an inner tube… after moments of faffing he told me my inner tube was “deformed” and I informed him I’d prefer the term “rotundly challenged”… Got it sorted and off we went on the final leg to the hotel… Where we had a game involving riddles (“Name four countries with only one vowel sound…..”), a nice dinner and for some of us, a nightly stroll!!

 

 

 

 

Day 4 Beauvais – PARIS!!!

 

Slightly lighter rain today, which was perfect for us. Today we were to stay more as a group and it was fantastic. Plenty of noise making and singing with Carly and Sean en route (oooerrr pardon my French)…. Only a few hills and an early lunch in the woods!!

 

Plenty of traffic after lunch before a nice city stretch of the route… It was fun to be an aggressive cyclist again, dodging cars and weaving traffic… Not long until our final stop before reaching Paris…. Exciting!!!

 

After nearly being run down by a bus or two and listening to car-horn wars like I have not experienced before and shouting lots we made it to a delightful park to re-group as a convoy to make our way the L’arc de Triomphe… The cobbled roads offering a nice body vibration to add to the occasion…. Our convoy was immense and we owned the whole road…. Headed down to the Eiffel Tower where we had some champagne, photos and plenty of WHOOPING!!!!

 

Semi-merry cycle back to the hotel for a shower before our celebratory dinner!!! A few awards were handed out… Mine being the award for The Most Attention and Crew Time for the Smallest Injury!!!! …. The drinks did floweth and the night was a good one!!!

 

Day 5 Paris – London

 

Beautiful sunshine for our non-bike related trip around the city… It was magnificent… Played a game of making up collective nouns for animals with Jake, Sean, Nick and Carly… An Army of Armadillos and so on…. Visited a few sites… Ambled along the river before heading to Paris Nord to catch the Eurostar back to London.

 

The trip was great. Fabulous scenery. Wonderful cycling. Glorious people. I will do it again, mark my words, might even take some gears with me next time!!

 

Thank you for your support, with your help we were able to contribute over £1,700 to the grand total of the ride for the NSPCC/ChildLine which will go to helping young people in the UK who need to be heard. You have done something great and you should feel very proud!!!