Aiming for that famous London Marathon finishing line on The
Mall has taken 50 months, almost 2500km (over 1300 miles) over 400 runs. Now I am a mere 26.2 miles away from that finishing line and I’m stopping.

Enough now.

Look at what I’ve done. Look at what I’ve achieved. There is
nothing to prove. I don’t need to do this.

I didn’t give up. In 2018 and 2019, I trained for this
marathon through therapy. I trained using training plans and got sicker and slower for my efforts. I committed to another 12 months of training when we lost Stan the week of the 2019 marathon.  I could see the finish line, so close, but instead I had to go all the way back to the
start again. That was hard. I read up. I researched. I tried lots of different
training approaches. I got advice. 

I continued to get sicker and slower. I had blood tests and doctors visits. I trained into 2020 very aware that I couldn’t train like other runners. There are no training plans for people in my situation because people in my situation shouldn’t run marathons.

BUT, I’d (metaphorically) seen the finish line in 2019. I had been so close. Also, I had run a marathon before, which proved that I had it in me to succeed. I regularly thought of a poem that I love, “Don’t Quit” by John Greenleaf Whittier. I trained in the way that I had learned suited my body (sugar, salt, heart rate monitor). It was lonely; no other runners to share the journey with because it was so unique to my situation and I got bored of explaining… or, rather, justifying why so slow, why so many walk
breaks…I watched the other participants lap me in terms of their training. Their speed and distances increasing as the reward for their work. Not so with me.

Hours gone on researching “how to prevent hypoglycaemia when
running”, “what do heart rate zones mean?”, “how accurate is the heart rate monitor on a Garmin watch?”, “what is the optimum salt concentration for hydration?”, “running clothes with compression”…spiralling down a rabbit hole with one sole purpose: to be able to run 26.2 miles. Trainers, gear, workouts, specialist nutrition - of course the thought entered my mind ‘is this really worth it’ but I remembered:

And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

And then?

!!!!!! PANDEMIC !!!!!!!!

The London Marathon was not cancelled, it was postponed
without any certainty. All they told us what to keep training. Keep training. Will this ever end? The finish line seemed further away than ever, unreal, a myth, but I tried. I really tried. March mileage 33km. April mileage 20km. May mileage 44km. June mileage 31km. July mileage 55km. August mileage 56km.
September 55km. Plod.Plod.Plod.

I can almost touch the finishline now but I’m not going to make it, not this time. I have been ill all of this week. It’s just a cold so nothing serious but a cold is enough to push my already malfunctioning system into complete shut down mode and so here I am. I feel like if I juuuuuust reach out my hand that little bit further to touch the finish line then I could do it! However, as soon as I touch it, I will shatter. Is it really worth it? No. At what point do you stop and say enough now?

NOW. This is the point where I say, ‘enough now’.

The London Marathon was significant to me. It held a lot of meaning but, what if I decide that it just doesn’t anymore? What if I decide that I have nothing to prove and that 400 runs and 1300 miles is enough? Can’t do it? Of course I can do it! I know I can do it. Should I do it though? Well, that’s the dilemma. Honestly, I feel I shouldn’t do it.

I’ve done the training. I’ve raised the money. I’ve stuck at it through thin and thin and, now I’m done.

Thank you for all of your support over the last 2 years. I'd be delighted of any and all further support - particularly donations to the NSPCC at this final furlong. Without the fundraising then this really all would've been the misadventure of an idiot. It's the fundraising that makes it count as worthwhile. So, can I walk away? What do you think?

Kate 

Below are my fundraising events:

Event 1: parkrun 5k dressed as a unicorn. £360 raised. Thank you x

Event 2: donations from parents at CwR. £185 raised. * Awesome! *

Event 3: Lucky squares. £130 raised. Faaaaab-U-lous

Event 4: Un-birthday party

Event 5: Children’s fun run - The Homestead Stomp.

Event 6: Children's fun run - Dash in the Dark.

Event 7: lockdown bake and toy sale.