If you’re here reading my story. Thank you.

I’ve decided in 2025 to run a half marathon. This is going to be a huge mental and physical challenge for me. My forte has always been strength training, and I currently can’t run further than a mile, but I want to challenge myself mentally and use my discipline for a greater cause.

Not many people in my life know the below, not that I’m ashamed to ever talk or open up about it. If anything talking about it has helped heal some of those wounds over the past two years.

In 2019 I was very unwell with stress, depression and extremely heightened and unmanageable OCD. During this turbulent period in my life, I casually went to casinos as I’d done for many many years for fun. When COVID hit I turned to online gambling. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever foresee it becoming a problem, until in 2021 I was over £50,000 in debt and in one of the darkest times of my life.

I went to a place where I could see only one way out, and that was to end my life. I remember googling a certain question, and up popped a message to call Samaritans. I didn't make the call, I wrote a goodbye letter.

If I’m honest, the only thing that saved me that night were my two dogs. One of them definitely knew something wasn’t right, and wouldn’t leave my side at all. If people ask me today why I’m so obsessed with my dogs, I always get an odd look when I say ‘they saved me in my darkest time’ as if it’s such an extreme ridiculous response to mask that I’m just overly obsessed by them. Not really knowing the truth behind that statement.

I remember going to my parents, so ashamed for the position I was in, and admitting I didn’t want to be here anymore.

I sought professional help, which was painful and hard. To this day I will always be an advocate of professional help and still recieve this, having someone to talk to and uncover the depths of you is eye opening.

The majority of people that know me will never know some of the mental challenges I face, because I’m high functioning. I still suffer with OCD but at a manageable state, and currently have therapy for other parts of my life. I’ve recently started to embark on a more spiritual journey too, which really has opened up parts of me I didn’t know needed unlocking.

I have spent the last two years working exceptionally hard to get myself out of debt with over half of it cleared and will continue to work hard until I can close this chapter of my story.

Mind along with other mental health charities do impeccable work to help raise awareness for mental health, and I hope reading my story you will kindly support such a great cause to celebrate surviving suicidal thoughts and the road to recovery.