I was born into a family of alcoholics. Many of my family members are in recovery now, but others are no longer with us because of the mental and physical toll of their struggles.

I began drinking when I was 12. My parents were going through a divorce and we were living in New Orleans. It was the 1980s and getting access to alcohol in bars was easy. Getting access to alcohol at home was even easier. I saw alcohol as a way to avoid feelings I didn’t want to feel. It numbed me to pain. It was a pattern that continued for many years, through high school and college and marriage and starting a career.

On the outside, I looked like I had it all together. People would tell you that I was a great mom, a great employee, and a reliable community volunteer. That’s how it looked. But at night, I was drinking three bottles of wine and taking prescription drugs to numb myself. But the thing is, you have to be in enough pain to change.

On December 3, 2017, I was sitting in church, crying for my father, who would have been 71 on that day, but we lost him at 63 due to his alcoholism. This was not what I wanted for my daughters. This was not what I wanted for myself. I knew in that moment that I needed help and that I wanted to change. And that day, God wrote on my prayer card, “Get me sober.”

My sobriety is built on community with others. I found people who were living the life I wanted to live, full of hope, joy, and freedom. Sobriety has helped me to know God and to have honest relationships with my daughters and everyone I know. For a long time, we had a full-time nanny who was like a member of the family and who gave my daughters the stability that I could not. I love my girls dearly, but I was not present and I wasn’t someone they could rely on. Sobriety has changed that. Today, they trust me to care for them, not just physically, but emotionally. I am a safe place for them. They see the choices I make every day to live the life we live.

I was introduced to Nexus Family Recovery Center by sober friends, who invited me to hear one of my favorite authors speak at a breakfast event. It was a cause that resonated with me, but also, I loved how the people I met were hopeful, mission-driven, and about providing solutions. You have to be able to identify solutions that will help you change the things you want to change. Hope is essential, but hope alone is not enough.

Being #StrongLikeAMother is being able to take care of yourself first and foremost. You have to take care of your basic and emotional needs before you can do that for your children or for other people you care about. And when it comes to substance use disorder, being strong also means facing your problems. It takes incredible strength and courage to admit to yourself that you want to change and that you need help to do that.

Nexus Family Recovery Center is a place that makes change possible. They give mothers and children hope, as well as access to the solutions and resources that allow families to heal. Please donate today to support these families as they find the hope and joy in recovery that my family has.