My parents are my world. They are the only family I have. Neither my mum not dad keep well and I try my hardest to give them as good care as I can. Due to my own health issues and looking after them I have limited work capability so my finances are basically nonexistent - frighteningly so at times. My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer and was taken very quickly into hospital to have a massive tumour and large length of colon removed. The surgery didn't go well and at 7am on my birthday mum and I were called to the hospital as they thought we were going to lose my dad. His colon had ruptured at the new join and filled his abdominal cavity with faeces and bile. He also had an arterial bleed. As he was rushed to theatre on my birthday for the second time he was turning blue - he didn't think he was coming back - it was horrific. He came through the surgery and has spent a long time in ICU and been extremely unwell. He hasn't been treated great whilst in hospital and is spending a lot of his time crying thinking he'd be better off not being here - it is destroying me - and mum. I am desperate to get his room sorted to bring him home and give him the care he needs. I am currently waiting to hear about his lymph nodes that were removed and sent to pathology and soooo praying for good news. He is a really unwell soul and I wish I was financially sound so I could go and get the things he needs without a second thought. I feel terrible trying this but it's a last resort and anything will help me greatly.