Weʼre raising £2,000 to help me start my life again and recover from terrible time.
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I had heard the statistic 'suicide is the biggest killer in men under 50' many times but I did not ever realise I could find my self in the position that I wanted to end my life.
In the last 6 months I have tried to hang myself twice. Once I was cut down and once the rope snapped.
Whether they were cries for help or I wanted to die I am unsure, it's all a blur now.
I was a 'normal' guy, hard working and in love. I met the love of my life 8 and a half years ago and felt like I was the luckiest man alive.
I was and still am madly in love with her. So much so, that I married her in June last year and it was the best day of my life.
I had it all and couldn't wait to start a family. On Christmas day last year my life was turned upside down.
I found out my new wife was having an affair. Worse still she started the affair only 6 weeks after our wedding day and it had been going on for 7 months.
I was devastated and could not make sense of anything. We were happy, we never argued, we were still intimate, I prided myself on being the best partner I could be. I cooked, was romantic, we talked, and I was completely loyal.
Perhaps I was just boring.
I forgave her and she promised to stop the affair. Weeks later I found them in bed together.
She left me for him.
I felt ashamed, worthless, and completely alone. All our friendship group and real family where all hers. When I lost her, I felt like I lost them too.
The people I did have around me, took the view that I should 'man up' because she was 'not worth it' and 'a cheat'.
What they didn't understand was that to me, she was the love of my life, my soul mate, my new wife and my whole future.
I was grieving her like she had died, but worse still she had chose to hurt me and chose to be with someone else.
My mental health deteriated and I had a breakdown. I lost my job. I couldn't afford my bills, After my first suicide attempt I was referred to the mental health team who have been amazing.
In the process
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Adam Lewis started crowdfunding