The Remarkable Adrian Hornby (17 January 1963 – 7 June 2020)

Following Adrian’s collision on the 27th May, and heartbreakingly sad passing on the 7th June 2020, we would like to commemorate his life in a positive and permanent way. He always said he didn’t want tears when he went, just happy things. As we all know, he loved being outside and loved walking, but his knees did trouble him so; we think it would be a good idea to have a bench placed on one of his favourite walks close to home. We can all hear him say “Ahhhhhhhh” at the sight of a bench and the relief it would garner as he rested those sore knees. We are hoping to place Adrian’s bench near to the River Wharfe on the Ebor Way, about a mile from our home. It’s a really pretty spot and if you are really lucky, you can see the otters swimming and fishing, not that we have any photographic evidence of course! The Ebor Way is largely an old Roman route from Malton to Ilkley, in the fairest county of all.

I’ve known Adrian since being at university. He out shone everyone, and even then we all knew he was special. He has always knocked people’s socks off with his technical brilliance, but it also sat alongside his fierce business acumen. The two combined are incredibly potent and rare, and very few of us ever meet such people as Adrian. I know everyone at Epicore will be missing him sorely, from colleagues both old and new, to customers and partners, they will all hold him dear with the same incredible high regard and respect.

It’s very, very easy to think of computing people as boring (I know what Alex and Rory both think), but Adrian wasn’t and of course I’m not. He did so many other things, and naturally, he did them exceptionally well. The formidable Adrian Hornby. Something of a late starter with Bridge, he was absolutely passionate about it. Through his determination and commitment, he was something of a rising star; always a team player (and recently a captain too), his enthusiasm was infectious. This is the improvers team with Helen, Miranda and John. You can tell they are all happy, especially Adrian as they had all done rather well.

Then of course there is the Dewsbury underwater hockey team, and in their different guises have known Adrian for as long as I have known him too. He’s been an intrinsic part of the team and has been the treasurer for years. Glenn described him as a formidable player (hmm, the formidable word again) and says that Adrian has always been willing to step up to the mark. He’s played for the ‘mature and skilled’ UK team and has played far and wide. He never took any prisoners but was loved by all, whatever happened in the water.

From water to air, he led the Harrogate Model Flying Club. I know he said he didn’t want to be chairman, but I know he did really. He added immeasurably to the club and tried to steer it through a safe and sensible course, but he also brought huge friendship too. This is one of my favourite pictures of Adrian ever; he is with Mick Chadwick here, and it says so much about Adrian and so much about the guys at the club, and thank you to Mick for letting us share the picture. I can hear Adrian laughing every time I look at the photo. It’s become quite precious to me.

Definitely a busy person, but at the very heart he held his family dear. As he said so often, for him, the point of life was to have children, and whilst Adrian has left us at such a young age, Rory and Alex can have no doubt that they meant absolutely everything to him. He would move mountains for them if he could. If we could ask him now what is the thing he will miss the most about passing, it would undoubtedly be the time with the boys and all of us as a family; from all those special life events from going to the palace for their gold Duke of Edinburgh awards (it’s imminent really, as we are on the list), to weddings and grandchildren and all those magical moments in between. There is nothing I can say that changes this. It is the saddest thing. For me, I have lost my husband, my best friend and my soulmate, my partner in building garden paths and all those other “good ideas” that will only take a jiffy. No more projects, no more “we need the pick axe” moments. No more adventures together, no more plans for our retirement and certainly no more kayaking through caves on rising tides with both of us being scared silly beyond belief (and the boys following in full control). We had fun and what I can say is: Adrian had a life well lived and beyond doubt, a life well loved.

Adrian had a huge impact on all of our lives. All friends and all sides of his family will miss him beyond belief as they will remember the warm, kind and generous person he was. Today I was reminded by our dearest friends that the memories we hold are absolutely precious; that we are fortunate to have had those amazing times together that we shared. As we social distanced today, we looked back on those early school days for our children, those easy times of Friday / Saturday nights and picnicking on a lounge floor somewhere, and school holidays and kiddie caring, and Foundation Day picnics with contraband wine, of outdoor theatres, of sledging and getting so freezing cold and taking refuge at Wood Hall for lunch, and all those funny, warm and deliciously happy times. We are indeed lucky. Whichever memory you hold of Adrian, hold it tightly, because I have no doubt it will indeed be special for you .

I didn’t want to say goodbye, it is simply too early; Adrian will always be my soulmate and the best father ever to Rory and Alex. The time we all had was magical and always will be. As Alex said, four was the perfect number, and perfect for the four of us.

The warmth, the kindness, the generosity of spirit, the support, and even offers of practical help from you has been overwhelming. There are times when we have felt totally enveloped by your love, and those are the times that have rescued us from the darkness. To all you good and lovely people, thank you. Hold the lovely precious memories of Adrian. He was indeed very special. Formidable in fact!

Here is a snippet of our lives ….

As you may have noticed, there are quite a few pictures taken on St Martin's in the Isles of Scilly. Adrian and I used to go long before Rory and Alex arrived, and we all went countless times afterwards. St Martin's is the most beautiful and peaceful of these tranquil islands. It is probably Adrian's most favourite place ever, so we are all going to return one more last time. We think he will rest easily and peacefully there; it just feels right. It is our last gift to him.

As a little background information on our choices:

When we married at st Oswalds Church in Collingham, the organist played Sheep May Safely Graze by Bach when we signed the register.

Lord of the Dance has a really happy tune and Adrian liked singing along.

Our quiet reflection moment was in acknowledgement of the Quaker way of having silent periods for prayer and reflection in a Quaker meeting. Rory and Alex were educated in Quaker schools in York, and the ethos of the faith had become intrinsic to us.

Nearer My God To Me was played as the Titanic sank. From my early days with Adrian, I always knew that if he had been on the Titanic, through his determination to survive, he would make it to the surface and in to a life boat. I also had absolute trust in Adrian, that he would grab me and take me with him. We would be there together.

Jeff's poem is all about Adrian's positive view on life. From all that he ever said, we are definite that he would want us all not to be mournful, to be looking forward and treasuring all the wonderful things we had shared. Jeff positioned the poem beautiful with his own thoughts of Adrian.

Frank Sinatra and Fly me to the Moon - well I'm sure Adrian has told you all about our 'garden project'. It started last summer as a little path through the flower beds that would only take a jiffy, but ended up being a major engineering project. In the corner of the garden we now have this solid oak frame with a two person swing suspended below. The inscription on one side of the swing reads 'Fly me to the moon' and the other says 'Let me play among the stars'. We are almost there. It is just heart breaking that we will not be finishing it together.

Our thanks to James the pianist, who played beautifully, and Jonathan who looked after us all with such kindness and care.