I am a registered nurse and a single mum to 4 amazing boys. I have mental health problems and have done for over 15 years. In 2004 I tried to take my own life as a result of being stalked, beaten and raped. Last October I saw the man who had raped me walking down the street in my home town. I tried once again to take my own life. I am still alive because of the expert help I received. Mental health is a journey with no end. It is a chronic condition from which you never really escape. As an outlet to how i’m feeling i write poetry in my spare time about mental health issues. I want to self publish a book of my poetry to try and help others. Its quite expensive so im asking for help. After a lot of research I have found that the cost to self publish is a minimum of £500. I would really appreciate any help you can give. This book could make a difference to so many people. Thank you Xx

Here is one of the poems that will be going in my book.

“ When you look at me, what do you see?

Can you hear all the voices that are talking to me?

Can you see that my brain is inside out?

That all I want to do is scream and shout.

Can you help me find myself? I’m trapped in here.

Suffocating and slowly drowning in all the pain and fear.

On the outside I look alright, that’s what I make believe.

The epitome of normal but all is not quite as it seems.

My mind is like a painting where all the colours have been mixed.

This empty, hopeless feeling. Can someone help me get it fixed?

I never asked to be like this, I never asked my mind to stray.

I just want to go to sleep so it will all just fade away.

I can’t get my thoughts in order, it’s all jumbled, I can’t speak.

These feelings that I have leave me feeling insecure and weak.

Some people try to help me, some people are just mean.

But they should climb inside my head and see the things I’ve seen.

I really hope that one day I can make them understand,

That having problems with my mind isn’t something that I planned.

I want to be the one who laughs, who functions every day.

But it seems that I’m simply just not built that way.

Mental health is scary, mental health is “weird”.

Some people think they’ll “catch it” from me or at least that’s what they’ve feared.

Don’t ask me how I am and expect me to say “fine”.

Inside I am crumbling, but if you’d take the time.

You’d see that somewhere deep inside of the darkness and the pain.

I’m here, I’m me and with your help I will be well again.

But for right now this is who I am, my mind is almost broken.

Mental health needs to be talked about, don’t leave things left unspoken. “