Before I start I like to thank anyone who takes time 2 read & apologize to everyone I know.I'm asking 4 help 2 change my life i got so far but need help doing last bit then i can have life worth living. started and when I was 19 & chatted to girl on net, she was married and lived nearby cause she couldn't drive I always visited her. After time we grew close built up trust and good friendship now and again I see her husband passing as he always busy. One day the weather cut his day short so he came in early . my friend was expecting farrier and had to fetch in pony who was in far field leaving me on own with her husband soon as she left he called me to see something in front room which soon as I got there he restrained me then raped me , when his niece called out he stopped and I ran to car and drove home. In a state I told my partner at time a friend who was helping so staying with us but she managed to persuade my ex I was lying as she saw her chance to get me out of way.I was left scared and on own with my rapist threatening me till I had enough and tried to take overdose but couldn't do that right so i stumbled outside and my mother in law saw me. When I was ready I told her everything she found my partner and mate in a caravan & through her out l. She supported me going to police And In court where he found guilty but all he got was fine showing money does buy way out trouble. He was free to make my life hell so I was introduced to drugs not knowing it was heroin as I was never done any before but it made me not care as numbed the pain. Over the years I have had good and bad times and now on a replacement prescription to keep me well but need help to do last stage as the pain and memory of the assault all flood back when stop altogether. To finally get my life back is to pay for a treatment where I am detoxed from all substances whilst alseep for week then have therapy I should of had instead of self medicating all those years ago.