This year I am finally ready to run the long awaited Swindon half marathon and cant tell you how excited i am to achieve this momentous goal! For me this will be in memory of our two pregnancies that didn't survive and my personal journey back to physical and more challengingly a good mental health. I first entered this half marathon 5 years ago and then found out we were pregnant (beyond all belief that i would actually be able to get pregnant!) so as a beginner to running i sensibly didn't take part. We suffered our first loss at 12 weeks gestation. The care we experienced from early pregnancy unit at the Great Western Hospital was amazing, but nothing prepared us for the incredible struggle with my mental health, most of it in the privacy of our home. As those of you reading this who know me, know i am a very private person and sharing these experiences is certainly not within my comfort zone.

The following year i decided to enter again and then discovered we had managed to conceive a second time, so didn't run. This time i suffered a burst ectopic pregnancy and received emergency surgery and again the health care i received from the early pregnancy unit and gynaecology ward during my stay in hospital was just outstanding. But this time i took an even bigger knock to my mental health and this time i had truly given up on ever becoming a mother, which was for me the most important aspiration of adult life, so i was left feeling 'well what is the point of it all really?!"

Slowly with my incredible soul mate always by my side, we got through and a year later we by some miracle conceived a third time. So that year i wasn't entering any half marathons! The year later saw the birth of our absolutely beautiful, treasured baby girl, who was literally my saviour! Other physical health problems were to follow so patiently i waited until it was my time!.. And it has taken me 18 months after her birth to get to this point of physical and mental readiness to finally run these 13.2 miles. Each step will mark a step closer to full recovery and a time to remember our challenging journey over the last 5 years and the first two babies that were not meant to be.

I know that by no means we are unique in what we have been through and so many couples also struggle through similar experiences in silence. Having been a nurse myself I also know that the health care staff that treated me never get much credit for what they do in their day jobs and i am so great full for all they did for us. I would like to be able to give them something towards funding simple new equipment they need for their day to day work, so if by reading this you feel you would like to do them a kindness and make a small donation, i would be so humbled.

I am truely thankful today for my loving, wonderful family supporting me all the way and of course for having my health back and the opportunity to move forward and enjoy life for all its wonderful colours! xxx