Hi, Big Daddy B here, or professionally Large Father Bradley. Now, I know what you're thinking, this fellow right here needs new glasses! Well I am here to tell you that I couldn't care less about those, because for what I need urgently, I don't need my sight, I could live in perpetual blackness if only I could fill the void in my tired, shrivelled heart. The thing that I want the most -that wakes me up in the night salivating like a pitiful creature- is simple. This thing I need would add considerable value to my life, I work gruelling long hours in a factory, only to drag my poor tired feet home and cry into my pillow, because the one thing that fills my thoughts daily remains sorely out of my reach. I ask you reading right now to have a heart, and help me to get what I need, a big greasy kebab. Now kebabs are important to me, without them I am nothing, without me - kebabs are nothing. Picture this, you're finishing your 12th cold crisp pint of strongbow dark fruits, and you're feeling a little bit cheeky on the way home, you approach the shining beacon of hope that is the takeaway shop, tears of utter glee fill your eyes, until you stop dead, horrified. You have not one spare bit of money to get your kebab. I need to be able to drink my 12 pints of dark fruits a night, this is non negotioble. So therefore i need the good public's money to help me fund my kebab desires, oh, i might use some of the money for bog roll as well *wink wink* please find it in your hearts to donate. Big Daddy out.