Hello everyone

As you might know, I am a really great guy. In spite of this, sometimes my great personality causes damage to other peoples property and often incurs fines.

Last weekend I was peer pressured into buttering my friend while he slept in bed. Of course I thought it was a bad idea to begin with, but other people insisted that I would face no repercussions for these actions. This was certainty not the case.

An £83 fine has been set for a new mattress, and as a poor man, this is no small feat. I ask for any help you can afford to give and will be forever grateful. No amount is too little my friends.

Thank you x