We are about to loose our first family holiday after waiting 12 years for it to finally happen, it was our Christmas present after Dave had lost his job. But since stevie was born into the neonatal ward, and my mum died, then when we rescued her dog from the kennels, he brought virus back and all our pets got sick. We’re on Dave’s sickness benefits as it is after the accident they sacked him for. I know it’s begging, and this probably is the result of some kind of mistakes I’ve made, but I have no family to ask, and I can’t get any kind of loan or advance, and it can’t hurt to ask , the haven people have already rang yesterday to try and collect this last payment, we were in the vets with izzy over the kennel cough, and I said I’ll ring back but if I don’t have the money I think they’ll cancel it, not to mention the fortune I’ve already skrimped to pay it every month since December so we’ll just loose all that, I don’t know what else to say. This is ridiculous, I just hope I don’t get trolled for this or something, that’s the last thing we need. I don’t know if I’m supposed to fill this box or if they expand it as you type in? I’m sorry I just don’t want the kids to spend another year at home bored all summer then in September hear about everyone’s holidays and have to make up stuff to fit in. That kills me that, we already had to cancel our wedding after Dave lost his job because i was pregnant with Stevie and we couldn’t afford both on what we have coming in now, so cause we couldn’t afford much at Christmas i put the money we had for it into a summer haven trip to blackpool by us, we can go on the train and take the dogs, and that saved Christmas with the few presents we’d already brought. Then we got ready for Stevie to come. And payed the holiday payment every month. Then Stevie came and he couldn’t breathe properly and had to go in the incubator. Me and him stayed in the hospital for a week for antibiotics. Bradley and jess we’re in bits without me home for a week but they had Dave and he coped really well. Then exactly a month to the day our son was born i got a phone call from my cousin and the police, my mum died of pneumonia at 49 out of the blue, so I travelled down south to get her dog from the kennel or else he be put down because he is so old and worn out, and we had her funeral on Monday after her 50th birthday on Sunday over a month after she died on the 17th of may, it took too long to get it all sorted but I am next of kin and i only get benefits for the kids and dave . Im breastfeeding Stevie at the moment, but since dave has been taking all these pain medications for his back after the accident, his sleep disorder has gone haywire and he’s not safe to be home alone; let alone look after the kids, my job as a psychiatric nurse is 12 hour shifts only on the wards, that’s why I couldn’t keep it up as a single parent but then I met Dave and he worked, so we decided to have a baby, we lost 2 babies before we got pregnant with Stevie so he was a miracle. And still is as well as Bradley and jess they are 10 and 12 now and they have spent their time living with violence thanks to me and homeless in domestic abuse refuges. We find a new home, Dave found us, we get engaged and finally pregnant and we have never argued once through all this even being together every day, he is an angel taking care of me while I’m breastfeeding and sorting my mum and our 4 pets and 3 kids and im just so sorry about it all .