Hi! Hello!

I’m Justin, the unwilling curator of the world’s largest collection of Christmas jumpers.

Every year my so-called “friends” gift me yet another Christmas jumper. Their mission: embarrass me. Cute. So I wear every glittery, itchy, tinsel-covered nightmare and post it on Instagram—because if anyone’s going to ruin my dignity, it’ll be me.

My kids, however, are forced to witness this annual collapse of self-esteem. Try telling a four-year-old we can’t keep every rice-and-paint masterpiece because Daddy needs storage for yet another festive knit.

But this year I’m doing something different. Instead of accepting another jumper born from a Christmas fever dream, I’m raising money to help build a new playground at my children’s school. Something wholesome. Something normal. Something to offset the emotional damage of having a father who looks like he was vomited out of Santa’s laundry basket.

With any luck, a new slide and some monkey bars will help them recover from the shame of being seen walking with a Christmas piñata.

All money raised goes directly to the playground fund. Thank you!

Www.instagram.com/justinzawyrucha