A Big Walk with a Malfunctioning Bottom

I’m gonna keep this brief and also jolly whilst being honest about the details.

This summer I am going to walk 2000km from John O’Groats to Land’s End. For three charities. Starting in early June it should take me about 2 and a half / 3 months. And I am taking everything I need on my back, including my tent so I can camp most of the way - unless any kind souls out there happen to live on my route (found on my instagram) and are kind enough to offer me a bed for the night or a camping pitch in their garden.

I’m going to walk because I can’t cycle. It was always my dream to cycle. I remember me and James Hamand planned it once. But due to the operations I’ve had I can’t do that anymore. The repetitive movement of cycling irritates the scar tissue on and around my bowel and causes paralytic ileus - that’s when your intestines seize up and stop working. It’s extremely painful and there is nothing you can do apart from just wait it out. So fine, I’ll walk.

The scars are there because of the major operations I have had to remove my rectum and a large part of my large intestine. I had cancer. The operations have left me with a kind of extreme IBS, fatigue and something glamorously called faecal urgency. Basically I can’t really control when I go for a poo. I need to go a lot, and at short notice. Every single day is a challenge.

So I am going for a massive walk and I am starting to get nervous. I’m not sleeping so great. It’s not the walking I’m worried about. It’ll be really tough of course, but anyone who knows me knows I’ve got (short) chunky legs so I should be ok.

The worry is partly the fatigue. But much more it’s the discomfort in my bowels and the stopping 4, 5, 6 times a day or more to get my trowel out, come rain or shine, that worries me. I can feel the anxiety building up and my stomach constrict right now just writing about it. Or even worse the prospect of doing it in the middle of the night when my imagination runs away from me and I think i’m going to get mauled to death by a badger or, even likelier, that big black cat people see every so often wondering around the countryside. Not to mention the Lyme’s disease I’ll get from the ticks that will inevitably attach themselves to my bottom. I get anxious about getting public transport and have to plan every trip with huge contingencies. This is a whole lot bigger.

But this is not about me. That’s my mum in the photo. It’s about her.

The only reason I found out I had cancer early enough to still be here is because my mum was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in her early fifties. This is unusually young and can point to genetic abnormalities, so I was checked as a precaution and here we are.

So I want to raise money for three charities inspired by her life and experiences.

First Teenage Cancer Trust. Mum was stoic about her diagnosis, but felt aggrieved that I, as a young person, had to go through all that. I know she would have wanted to help other young people in the same position. You can find out more about their work at https://www.teenagecancertrust.org/

Second, Royal Trinity Hospice who looked after mum so well in her final days and helped relieve the burden on our tiny struggling family. You can find out more about them at https://www.royaltrinityhospice.london/

And lastly Young Minds. Mum struggled her whole life with severe depression. If we can help people deal with these issues in youth, hopefully we can prevent those issues carrying on into adulthood. Young minds help young people struggling with mental difficulties. You can find out more about them here: https://youngminds.org.uk/

If you want to ensure your money goes to one charity in particular, please state so when donating. All remaining money received will be split equally across the three charities upon completion of my walk.

Another reason to walk is because I occasionally suffer, not as severely as mum, from bouts of ‘low mood’. This last year has been very difficult, as it has for so many. I find walking helps me, so part of the reason to walk is to help me recover from this past year. This is a key part of larger project to demonstrate the mental health benefits of walking, as well as to inspire others who face similar physical challenges to me that expeditions and activities like this are not beyond them. With your kindness I can also help many others in the process.

You can follow my progress on instagram where I will be posting regular, very brief updates.

Thank you,

Cliff