A short time ago, something pretty awful happened, and I bet something pretty significant on it not happening: my glorious hair.

I bet that if Hillary Clinton lost the election, I would shave my head for charity.

And we all know what happened there.

Anyone who's known me more than 6 minutes will have at some point had a conversation about my hair. I love it, but am also sick of it. I was once described in a review for a show I was in as 'the man who carries around David Bard's hair.' By this point it feels so inextricably linked to my personality that I quite literally have no idea how I'll feel without it.

What will I run my hands through? How will total strangers compliment me? Will I lose all my strength like Samson? (what strength, Dave?) How long will it take to grow back? Will it grow back? Is my head tiny? (yes, it is). Will I still look like George Michael, just from a different era? So many questions.

One thing is for sure - much like Trump's America, my head is likely to become a cold and strange place.

I've decided to donate all money raised to RAINN - the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, America's largest anti-sexual violence charity.

Mainly, I'm doing it so that, on a personal level, I can know that a very tiny amount of good came out of the election result.

So on January 20th, as one idiot with a stupid hairdo is sworn in, an altogether more harmless idiot with a stupid hairdo will be getting shaved.

You know how much my hair means to me.

Please give generously.