Weʼve raised £0 to Please Help Me with my Dad’s Funeral Costs
- Closed on Friday, 18th January 2019
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Before I begin, you must understand that this is an very difficult thing to articulate, for so much has gone on in recent years, which has seen my family change dramatically, the experiences I’ve had have been heart wrenching and I don’t think I will ever be the same again. Here is I and my wife’s story.
In January of 2018, my father Frank was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer; the cancer originated from his oesophagus; however, sadly, by the time he was diagnosed, the cancer had spread to his lungs and back. We were told that this particular type of cancer was extremely aggressive, terminal, and that he had at least 6 months and at most 12 to live. We were heart broken, and I have never seen my dad so scared, helpless and alone.
My dad was once a local butcher until he became disabled, my mum was a dinner lady at one of the local schools and carer for my dad until she retired and sadly passed away a few months later.
My mother passed away in 2015, both my dad and I were there with her when she passed. My father woke up next to mum one morning to find her in a very bad way, and I worked with the paramedic to try and save her, but unfortunately there was nothing more we could do to help her.
Mum and dad were inseparable and very much that cute older couple you, who shared everything and lived happily in their own, cosy world. In that tragic moment my dad lost both his wife and his best friend, and I lost my mum.
Over a seven month period, dad went through both chemotherapy and radiotherapy; he was hospitalized three times, and during this time the cancer spread to his brain. After learning of this, my wife Sarah and I decided to get married as soon as possible so that dad could be there, and Sarah wanted dad to give her away, he wept with joy when she asked him.
We had a very short and simple ceremony at the local registry office, and thankfully he found the strength to attend the wedding. He managed to achieve all of this because of the love and support of his family, his friends and neighbours in the local community.
Two weeks after our wedding my dad was rushed to hospital with a chest infection, and sadly after questionable events in the hospital, which are currently being looked into, he passed away on the morning of the 28th July 2018.
My wife and I have cared for dad every day since mum passed away, and between us we cared for him for the duration of his cancer treatment. We were starting to make the family home ready for dad’s long term care.
Dad's funeral was on the 21st August, he was buried with mum, and he would have been so very touched by the people who came to say goodbye. It was a very difficult time for us all; Sarah and I are still struggling with it, the harsh reality of it all is now beginning to sink in, and with the memories of mum's funeral, it was the hardest thing we've ever had to do.
The Facts and Harsh Realities We Now Have to Face
Since the funeral we have found out that we are not entitled to any help with the funeral expenses because we aren’t in receipt of any benefits, and the local authorities have informed us that we have to also leave the family home, a home I have lived in since I was 2. We did become aware of this early on in dads treatment, leaving us with two viable options, either stay and take care of dad, or find somewhere else to live and leave him alone, which as his only child I could not and definitely would not do. We did try to buy the house with dad, but unfortunately he deteriorated rapidly, and we ran out of time.
We’ve used everything we had taking care of dad, and now it feels like we are being punished by the authorities for doing the right thing.
I know that there are still good people out there who care about what happens to families like ours, so if you could please find it in your hearts to help us, by donating to help contribute to the funeral costs, it would mean the world to us. We would forever keep your kind generosity and altruism in our hearts forever.
Thank you, Dave, Sarah, Blue the Border Collie and Charlie the Cockatoo. xXx
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