As most of you know, myself and Fraser lost our beautiful son Jonathon Fraser Rennie, on the 16th August 2019. He was 27+3 weeks and weighed 1lb 1oz.

In the early hours of the 14th August, I was rushed to hospital as I was bleeding quite heavily. When we got to the hospital I was rushed in to get an ultrasound and eventually they found Jonathon‘s heart beat. They didn’t know why I was bleeding as everything looked fine but eventually they figured out that I had severe pre eclampsia, which can be fatal for mother and baby if it gets to a certain point. The only way to survive pre eclampsia is to deliver your baby, which I had to do with no other choice as my organs were beginning to shut down. With him being 13 weeks early I was terrified to say the least.

After days of trying to be induced to have a natural birth, I was eventually rushed into theatre to have an emergency c-section and my beautiful boy was born at 19:39.

There was complications all through my pregnancy with Jonathon, which barely anyone knew about. We were told there was a high chance I could miscarry him at any point, but he fought to stay. Then I was told he might not survive the birth, and he fought to stay. Once he was born, he was taken straight through to resus with Fraser and a lot of doctors and consultants and for the first time ever, my parents and Frasers parents were allowed in resus which never happens. That‘s when you realised how ill Jonathon was.

His breathing was starting to deteriorate, so he was brought through to see me whilst I was getting stitched back up from my section. Once Jonathon heard my voice, his breathing and heart rate instantly picked up and was able to breath on his own, which all the consultants and midwives in the room (over 20 of them) could not believe.

That night was spent with Jonathon getting lots of kisses and cuddles from myself, Fraser, and his grans and grandads. Then, at 22:32, Jonathon passed away peacefully in my arms. You cannot describe the pain we felt unless you’ve been through it yourself.

When Jonathon had passed, we were given a cuddle cot to place him in so we could still have him whilst I was still recovering in hospital, which is what myself and Fraser are wanting to fundraise for so we can buy Ninewells another one.

A cuddle cot is a cooling mattress that stop the baby's body deteriorating, and can be placed in a cot or even a pram. It allows parents to stay with them for days or even weeks before their funeral, hugging them, dressing them and taking them out for walks.

Cuddle cots cost between roughly £1600-£2000. We hosted a bingo night and managed to raise £930 which is incredible. We are also hosting a race night on 28th February. Every little helps

This ones for you, Jonathon Fraser Rennie✨🌈💙