In July this year we lost our Emily. She was born sleeping at just under 24 weeks gestation. This was because of a decision that we as parents made due to a terminal diagnosis of severe hydrocephalus and Walker-Warburg Syndrome. Feel like I have to put that out there as a disclaimer because I feel like a fraud most of the time when I'm struggling with the grief.

The decision aspect was difficult but I wonder how on earth a parent deals with a still birth when they haven't had any time to prepare. My world crumbled for a little while but I did have a few weeks of appointments and tests which kind of prepared us for what was going to happen.

It is however the worse thing I've ever experienced. I know that makes me very fortunate.

Thanks to a cuddle cot which was donated over 10 years ago we were able to spend 2 days with her as a family, saying goodbye and starting that grieving process. Our daughter Violet was able to visit the day after she was born and cuddled her and sang to her. We wouldn't have had this option without the cuddle cot.

The cuddle cots available now look more like moses baskets and we would love to buy one for Bolton Hospital who took care of the whole family in the most amazing way from start to finish. And also in memory of Emily.

The hospital will be purchasing the cot but it will be something very similar to the ones you can see here; http://flexmort.com/cuddle-cots/

Statistics from 2016 showed that 1 in every 225 births in the UK ended in a still birth, which averages out at 9 per day. This is only counting the births from 24 weeks gestation upwards. I'm not sure people are so aware of this because people are too scared to talk about it. I have been too scared to share pictures of her because I don't want to upset people. I also don't want to dwell on it all too much. But as a family we all said that we wanted to do something in her honour.

Being in the hospital for those few days we saw lots of amazing things that were donated in memory of stillborn babies. The cot, the room we stayed in which was decorated to look like a homely bedroom, the memory box we were given, the casting kit, the printing kit, the tiny little clothes that had been handmade by angels.

That sense of togetherness was so comforting. The realisation that humanity is great. We want to help too!

Together we will be holding stalls at Christmas fairs and selling our fine handcrafted goods :)

In the mean time if anyone would like to donate, we would be eternally grateful and you would be doing an amazing thing. I promise!