I am a separated Father. At the mercy of the family court system. My son, Arthur is nearly 3 years old and in the last 3 years it has been a constant battle with his Mother and the courts.

I am seeking help to fund my 3rd Child Arrangement Order.. to vary an existing order which currently states, as it stands, that I cannot see my Son between now and Christmas, that means that Arthur and I will not have any time together for 4 months. Which I cannot accept, I will not accept. I am currently doing what I can to raise funds to pay the courts for further variation of the order.

I love my Son, my Son loves me... But we are both at the mercy of a system designed to support Mams, not Dads, that claims to have the best interest of the child at heart, that claims to base their decision on an equal shared parenting basis.. I have never been acknowledged as a co-parent.. at best, a babysitter.. My Son now lives roughly 400 miles away from me, following a variation which allowed his Mam to relocate down south .. I was hardly given the chance to show a portion of my case as I was representing myself, representation is expensive. Following the move I've actually had amazing quality extended time due to the order, in ways of some school holidays, for 1 week at a time, strictly 7 days. Arthur actually gained a sense of normality through the six weeks holidays I believe and although I lost my weekends which gave me more days NET a year with Arthur previously to benefiting from less overall time but much longer and extended periods of him staying with me. In that time he's built loving attachments to his Grandmother, Grandfather, especially his cousin Charlie not to mention myself and I can't help but think how many steps back 4 months will take him. It scares me as a Dad naturally, because I know he will be missing me and my family and his age it will be confusing and Facetime will be all we get between these periods in the year. The order even suggests that my time will go down next year even more.

Now, after begging the Judge to revisit the existing order and see its short comings, he has advised me to make an official court application.. Despite outlining the emotional impact this will have on my Son, the courts have refused to get involved again. Happy to make orders that control peoples lives but when they have made a mistake they can't admit it. It's hard enough waiting 6-8 weeks between school holidays, I've learned to accept that now however and look positively toward the next time he is with me. But 4 months, at first I thought this had to be a mistake, surely the Judge must've overlooked this in the hearing. But after speaking to him I don't know what to think anymore or how to approach it. Only that I have to do something soon, I have to be proactive and positive and that has brought me here. Asking for more help for a Boy and his Father.