My name is Georgia Hastie I am 16 years old and I have Chronic Pain Syndrome. I am crowd funding to pay for the adaptations I need to make to my house (expanding doorframes for my wheelchair, etc.), my stair lift and other medical bits and pieces that I need.

My story is a hard one to write, I have been sat for days trying to figure out what words could tell you what I’ve been through the past 2 years and what words would compel you to want to help me but Im stumped.

The thing is I can’t really describe what my pain feels like, I could tell you what it is like to experience it, that’s easy, it’s tiring it takes every piece of fight that you have in you and it rips it away, it leaves you feeling hopeless and most of the time just completely empty, the worst thing by far though is that fact that it strips you of who you are and no matter how many people tell you it’s not true you can’t help but think that it is, because you stop smiling and you stop making jokes and you’re forcing everything you do. Suddenly you’re not you anymore, you’re just you’re pain you’re that girl in pain you’re that girl in a wheelchair you’re that girl who has to take painkillers just to function. It’s easy to tell you what it is like to experience my pain but even then it is far worse than words could portray.

It still doesn’t tell you what it feels like; but perhaps that’s a good thing, because I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I wouldn’t want anybody to feel this way every minute of every hour of every single day of their life, that’s the thing about CPS it never goes away.

With Chronic Pain Syndrome, any sensation, movement or touch is perceived by my brain as pain even though it isn’t. This means that I am in pain constantly, it never gets better and it never goes away, often people forget that because unless I am at a point like I am now where I need a wheelchair because I can’t walk you can’t see it and so often people don’t believe or forget that it is there. My CPS started with a back problem that wasn’t addressed fast enough and eventually that pain overtook everything in my body and it has left me where I am today.

I am currently doing a residential in hospital where I receive intense physical rehabilitation. I currently can’t walk more than a couple steps and I need to be carried up and downstairs or steps by an ambulance team. Last week when I was being carried upstairs by the ambulance crew I was kicked in the back (BY FAR THE MOST PAINFUL AREA) and just to round out the experience they proceeded to drop me. It is safe to say that I have never experienced more excruciating pain than that. I didn’t know what to do in that moment, I was in tears for hours following and now I am petrified of going back into another ambulance. We decided that the only way forward was to buy a stair lift, we are however spending money we don’t have and fundraising is pretty much our only way forward unless someone can tell me the lottery numbers for next week.

I have never been good at asking for help and to be honest I don't really know how to do it so I apologise if this makes absolutely no sense. My mum and I have always been very proud of the fact that we don't need to ask for help, anyone who knows me knows that I am usually far beyond the point where I should be asking for help before I actually do. However my mum works all the time and it isn't good for her, she has worked so hard for so long and she deserves a break hopefully these donations will give her that. This £250 isn't enough for my stair lift but it's a good start and it means my mum can relax even just for a while.

One of the things that have really shocked me whilst being ill is the generosity and kindness of people that don't even know me, have never met me but are so willing to help me. It's a really beautiful thing and it restores your faith in humanity. It's impossible to tell people how grateful I am when they help me, all I can think to say is thank you but even then I don't think I could ever say thank you enough. It means the world to me and even the tiniest things can make such a huge impact and really brighten my day. Again thank you so much, you have no idea how much it can help.

I really struggle when asking for help and frankly I don't even think I really know how to and it is really weird for me to be asking people who don't know me to give me money and so I apologise if this is all very incoherent but I am way out of my comfort zone.

Please give anything you can, the smallest amount can still make a huge difference for me right now.

Again, thank you so much

Georgia x