On july first will be doing a skydive in order to raise funds and awareness for two fantastic organisations, PAPYRUS and Mikeys line, they support individuals who suffer from depression. I hate planes and am scared of heights but I will be putting aside my fears and I ask you to do the same, do the thing that scares you – talk to someone and ask for help.
Something you may not know about me is that I suffer from depression. There have been times where it has almost gotten the better of me, where I would give anything just to stop the noise in my head telling me I only had one option left. To me, this option was less terrifying than asking for help, scarier than letting people know just how bad I was. There was a period of time I couldn’t go a day without those intrusive thoughts telling me to end my life and that it was the best thing to do, I had to fight so hard to block these thoughts out, sometimes it was easier than others, sometimes I just couldn’t do it at all.
I have been made to feel ashamed by the things I have done and said when my depression was at its worst. I have lost countless friends because they didn’t understand when I told them. Now i can say I am not ashamed of the fact I have depression, I am not ashamed of the things I have done to myself when my depression was winning. Not everyone will understand when I tell them but that is okay, the fact I can talk about it now is a massive achievement for me and I am proud of myself for that.
When we lose someone to suicide how often do we say things like “ I had no idea they were so bad” or “ they always seemed so happy”?

Ask for help, talk to someone. Yes it will be scary, but that is alright because you did it. You took that first step.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? To let you know :
It’s ok not to be ok and it is ok to talk!