I've raised £30000 to help Bex and family make memories

Organised by Helen Foulds
Donations cannot currently be made to this page
Health and medical

Story

Hello,

With the blessing of Bex and her family this page is being established to support the Condie family following the devastating news that she is moving from active treatment to life prolonging care.

Whilst Bex’s family will be finding funds to pay for any additional treatment options (beyond NHS care) that might help this page is being established to raise funds to help them make as many memories together as a family. This will hopefully take away some of the financial burden of caring for each other and dealing with treatment alongside dedicating time with the kids to make the most of the time that they have.

Any support is welcomed and very graciously received.

With much love, Helen and Anna

For background, here is Bex’s last update on her treatment for bowel cancer which demonstrates what an awesome human being she is, and how utterly crapballs this latest turn of events is..;

The Final Chapter.

The thing is, there’s no manual to life. There’s no go-to chapter on how to get through your teenage years, how to navigate work-life or home-life. Nobody can tell you how to find a partner to walk through life with, and nobody can tell you how to bring up your children. There are no pages to flick to when you need some advice on how to die. So we will just have to wing it a bit.

Telling our three gorgeous, brave children that ‘Mummy is going to die’ has been the hardest thing we have both ever lived through. And are living through. Especially as we wait nervously for Ali’s results, too. It’s what nightmares are made of. Every morning there’s a three second lull, a tiny break in consciousness, before the reality of it all hits again.

It seems desperately unfair for Jasper, Millie and Bella (and Ali) to have to go through this. But the beauty of life is that actually, it’s a sequence of wonderful and not-so-wonderful events, of highs and lows. And sadly, we don’t get to choose them all. Let’s face it, nobody would choose this chapter.

We do, however, get to choose our own mindset, share our ideas, our thoughts and beliefs and ensure that the next beautiful generation (and they are a beautiful, caring generation) know where they came from, and have the courage to lead themselves where they want to go. I hope it’s a path into hope and happiness.

I consider myself an extraordinarily lucky person, bar the obvious health issues. I won the lottery when it came to family and closest friends. I am just so grateful for them, I can’t put it into words. My sisters have dropped everything at a moment’s notice, my parents and Ali’s parents are on-hand and my lovely lovely, gorgeous, brave husband (who is going to need his friends around), is there for me always. I just wish we had longer.

Jasper, Millie and Bella are brave, and inquisitive and sad, and happy. I love that in the depths of despair, they can jump around in the pool and find joy in the day. As they should. Their laughter is the best sound in the world.

And that is how we will go on for the next *however long* I have as part of Team Condie. Surrounded with all the love and laughter we can cram in.

Please, please get yourself checked if something doesn’t feel right in your body. You know your body best. Pains, lumps, bumps, changes in pattern, or a difference in how your body feels - if it’s not normal for you, please don’t ignore it. I cannot stress enough - you are never too young. GET IT CHECKED.

Just for clarity and to answer some questions:

1. Yes, my cancer has returned (in the pancreas and maybe the liver too as an added bonus 🤪) and is stage 4, terminal.

2. No, we don’t have timescales - we are in Deborah James territory now, and are hoping for as much time as possible, but I’m not going to see my kids grow up 😪

3. Yes, I am going to be going back on chemo, but it is palliative, not curative.

4. As much as we really appreciate kind words, phrases like ‘you can fight this’ aren’t helpful when you receive a terminal diagnosis. It’s not fair to leave kids thinking their parent didn’t ‘fight’ hard enough, or ‘failed’ in some kind of way. It was never a fair fight and we must all remember that death is not a ‘punishment’ - it’s just the end of a journey.

5. Yes, we are going to need lots of support and will need friends to pull together to help make special memories for the kids 💕 Thank you xx

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About fundraiser

Helen Foulds
Organiser

Donation summary

Total
£25,580.00