Weʼre raising £2,000 to get a car to leave an abusive relationship
- 18 days to go
Crowdfunding is a new type of fundraising where you can raise funds for your own personal cause, even if you're not a registered charity.
The page owner is responsible for the distribution of funds raised.
My mum, me and my brother need your help.
This may be a long shot but I needed to do something.
My Mum is a wonderful Mum, she is caring and all she wants is the best for me and my brother.
December 2016 she broke her back and neck and while in hospital, her husband of 13 years had an affair that has just crushed her confidence and self worth.
She rightfully asked him to leave which made him aggressive and he treated her with such disrespect, using her sexually and mentally so much so she had no choice but to ask for the help off police, family and friends. A non molestation order was put in place and finally he was removed and we where all safe.
During this time my mum was supported by a friend of hers who eventually became her partner, someone she could trust, he helped her get everything back on track. He helped her feel like a woman again, feel attractive and wanted and finally she started to smile again. He was wonderful. We had Mum back and everything, for a long time felt peaceful, happy and content again.
With the divorce looming over my mother’s head and the stress of her ex-husband, my step father’s demands, constantly changing his mind, his want for my mother to come back to him, turning up around the area we lived, she started to feel stressed and worried again, her partner asked us to stay with him in his home in the country, it was an hour away from our schools and mums work, but the journey was worth the peace we had whilst staying there, it was different, no memories, no step father just us, peace and calm.
My mother and her new partner decided that a new life in the country was the way forward and we all agreed, the journey to and forth was do-able so we started to pack up our home and leave the bad memories behind.
The first few months where fantastic, we loved our new home, but then things started to change. Mums car broke down, it went to the garage and the work quoted was a substantial amount. My mums partner said the car wasn’t worth the work being done and said to scrap it, that she could have one of his Audi’s for now until she was in a better financial position to buy a new car. Even though Mum could pay the cost the garage was asking, she listened to her partner and sold the car to the garage.
Now Mum was living in a new home driving a new car, memories of her marriage fading quickly, everything was new but she seemed content.
Until one day, her new partner came home drunk and had a very different look in his eye. He had been drunk heaps of times before but this time he was out for an argument and no one new why. He started nit picking at everything my mum did, following her around, provoking an argument, luckily my little brother had gone to his fathers for the weekend so didn’t have to whiteness this, Mum asked me to go to my room and she tried to stay away from him.
I heard him pushing her around, calling her vile names like ugly fat lazy cow, saying his ex girlfriends where better looking than her, saying how gross she was, I heard her say please get off me, I ran upstairs and told him to leave her alone to which he came right up in my face, I thought he was going to start pushing me around, then my mum stood in front of him and said over my dead body will you lay a finger on her! He backed off still being abusive with his words.
Mum knew from that moment we had to go back home away from here.
Her Partner new this so things have become even more difficult. He plays games with the car, refusing to let her use it every now and again . He just takes the keys and goes to work making us stranded unable to go to school or work, he won’t let us eat the food in the house as he has bought it, making sure my mum has to spend as much money as possible to ensure she can’t afford to buy a car and get all her things brought back to home. He blackmailed her into giving him money for half of everything including the rent he has to pay of £1400 a month, which he knew she couldn’t afford when we moved here, but this is something he has always paid, he promised her not to worry about it, saying she wouldn’t be ok and made her feel like a princess, now he had taken everything from her, got her where he wants her and now she can’t afford to pay for our phones and soon we won’t have these, to at least try and get help if needed. she scrimps and scrapes for money, I work part time so give her what I can, but for him it’s never enough and if we don’t pay it, he will kick us out, but with no transport or without a way of getting our things, this would leave us stranded so she has no choice but to comply. She doesn’t know I know all of this but I hear them talking and she begs him to not be like this but he doesn’t listen and continues to break her. sometimes locks the door so we can’t get out of the house, he drinks a lot and he is so verbally abusive he has broken her. The internet was removed which we relied on for phone signal and communication to the outside world, so we can’t contact anyone. We are trapped. Family can’t help financially, friends can’t help as Mum can’t trust his friends and she lost her others through moving and separating from her ex husband. She has no one to help her, this is our last and only resort.
So here we are now. I’m sat on a bench on a hill, no school today as no car to get there, and I’m begging, I need everyone’s help to help my mum. To help her get her freedom back by helping her need her get a car and be able to afford to get all our things home.
I need to see my mum back to the woman she should be and has been. Strong, hopeful, happy, smiling, content and hard working. All she does now is put on a brave face and cry herself to sleep. I see defeat behind her eyes because she has no way forward. She can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and she try’s to reassure me and my brother that it’s all going to work out soon enough and be ok, when I know in her heart she doesn’t know that or feel that anymore. Her employers are trying to support her but once her annual leave has gone they can no longer support her days off, what will happen then? She may loose her job where she had worked for 14yrs. The school are concerned about our lack of attendance and although are trying to be understanding, it’s also clear they have a job to do and have threatened that Mum will be contacted by children’s welfare. She is so scared that my little brother will be taken from her and given to his father, I have no one else to go to so this won’t happen to me, but I know it will be like ripping a part of my Mum away if my brother is removed.
My mum let’s no harm come to us, she gives us everything we need and makes sure we are tucked up safe in bed, like I said she is a wonderful, beautiful person, the last thing me and my brother want is to leave her, she makes me and my brother study whilst we are home so we are not getting away with it, then we play games and have movie time, so please don’t read this wrong and think we are miss-treated because this is not the case. I’m older than my brother so I see the hurt and torment my mother is going through, that’s why I know she needs help.
I don’t want to loose my mum completely and I’m afraid that will happen, she is all I have in the world and I need her to be ok.
Please, anything will help us right now, I just want her and us out of here, back to our old house ( until the divorce is over) at least there she can come and go without being locked in, and hopefully with a car so she can still get to and from work.
Please help me and my brother help her. She needs a break before we loose her completely. I’m scared for her and this is my last resort.
Thank you for reading.
A very worried daughter.
Share this story
Updates appear here
Alexus Poole started crowdfunding