Hi All.

My name is Tracey, and I am ashamed to say I have been guilty of plodding along with life, wrapped up in my own problems to notice someone else’s struggles.

I have worked with a lady for four months now, and although I knew her husband was unwell, i never took the time to ask how he was, or to enquire as to what was wrong with him. Until yesterday. Her husbands name is Stephen, and at the age of 52 he had amajor stroke. Since the stroke Stephen has been unable to speak and is paralysed down his right side. Now i know this is common, but after speaking to my colleague this has really made me question myself, and my strength as a person.

For four years my colleague and her husband have been unable to communicate. Stephen was/is right-handed and therefore unable to even write messages/notes to his wife. For the first few months he tried writing with his left hand and at the same time he was receiving help from an NHS speech therapist. However, after a few months.... i’m not sure what word to use here... i’m disgusted? to say she walked in on the therapist telling her husband that he will never speak again and there was no point to them being, or for Stephen to even try!. Sadly after this, Stephen did indeed give up trying.

There are a few things that struck me after speaking with my colleague. Firstly, how amazingly strong this woman is!. She is still hopeful things can get better, and is determined to support the man she loves. This led me to question myself. I love my partner absolutely, but could I deal with what she’s going through?. Caring for him 24/7, never being able to go out to the pub, for meals, holidays with or without him. Never being able to have a conversation with him, hear is witty banter, or even him telling me what a pain in the ass I am. And on top of all this, remain positive! - i’m not sure I could.

What I ask is that we raise some funds for maybe a couple of iPads for Stephen to use a stylus and handwriting recognition to help and encourage Steven to use his left hand and write a note to his wife. I would also like my colleague to be able to look to hire a private speech therapist for at least six months.

It may be the case it doesn’t work, but i for one would never want to live life with no hope.

If anyone could also recommend a speech therapist that works with stroke victims in the East Sussex region, or trials or any other aids they think may help Stephen have a better life and communicate with his wife again I would be truly grateful.

Many, many thanks for your help

Tracey