Please help me. Alcohol took my Dad

My name is Imogen and I am 17 and this is my plea to raise money to pay for legal costs to contest a will that my Dad made less than 2 weeks before he died, he was an alcoholic and died of liver failure.

Shortly before his death I was removed from inheriting anything and have been left destitute. His life and his death makes me feel really sad, in so many ways and because of his alcohol addiction and the total fear and torment that it has brought me and my family is just horrific and I now face being evicted from my family home. There is just no way he would have chosen this for me without external influences and his poor mental health. He had Hepatic Encephalopathy – a brain disease and I believe my dad was not capable of making these decisions, clearly he wasn’t because of his will.

I am reaching out for help, to raise money to pay for a solicitor so I can contest my Dad’s will. He had Liver failure as I say, he also had a brain condition named Brain / Hepatic Encephalopathy, his mental health was frail and he also had many other health conditions, all due to his long-term alcohol addiction. Brain / Hepatic Encephalopathy, it’s a decline in how the brain functions, symptoms range from altered mental state, personality changes, confusion, poor judgement/cognitive problems, anxiety, seizures, confused speech, mobility and more. This explained why Dad did things that he would never have done if he hadn’t had been so poorly.

Shortly before he died, solicitors were organised to visit him; he made a new will, leaving me with no money and he bizarrely gave part of my home to a person I am frightened of. Dad was so vulnerable and so poorly, he was taken advantage of, he suffered so much, it is all just so very sad.

There is a whole lot more to my story and I have decided to write it in a very brief way, I hope this will explain why I am asking for financial help.

My dad was 50 when died on 1st May 2022.

Dad ran our family business, he worked very hard and was a very successful and talented businessman. The business paid for everything in our lives until he was too poorly to work and it closed down in May 2021.

My Dad had a problem with alcohol for as long as I can remember, I hated it, I was ashamed, I couldn’t understand why he did it, I struggled with it so much. Away from everyone else, his drinking and unpredictable ways meant that we mostly lived in tension, alcohol made my dad do things that he would not do if he was long term sober. To others, he was quite an infectious character, he was smart, fun loving, handsome, clever, and admired but his drinking made him different, poorly, he hid it so well but at home it made him unpredictable, impatient, his temper could be brutal it was really bad at times but he was sometimes very loving, I didn’t feel unloved by him. I was young when it all started, I felt different to my friends, and still do. I felt really sad for my Mum, she struggled with him, she was always trying to protect me and would cry, beg him to stop drinking and get help. Dad made us hide it from everyone, he was always stressed about the business, he worked hard which made him drink more. I watched lots of sad things, things that really upset me, I used to do things to try to block it out.

I know my Dad loved me but the alcohol changed him and he often did really crazy things. I was nearly 12, things had got really bad and dad left, my Mum did it to protect me but away from home and out of our care, he was led down a dangerous life path with the wrong people. Dad was so vulnerable and people that were not good for him enabled his addictions. Dad ended up in a relationship that took him away from me, my contact blocked, he missed my 16th birthday, Christmas and I didn’t see him on his 50th birthday last year.

There were times when he would come back home because he wanted to get better, Mum would detox him, things would improve, he was happy, we were a family, I was happy, then he’d relapse, influenced by the people who did not want the best for him. Twice he almost died because of alcohol poisoning, I remember visiting him in hospital during the pandemic, mum had called 999, he was in ICU, that really really upset me, I didn’t like seeing him like that. I remember happy times too, our holidays, he loved Christmas and not that long ago when dad came to my birthday party at home and my Mum’s birthday with my granny and grandpa and we were all happy, my Dad was happy, we were all together and he wasn’t drunk, he said he had made an effort. The summer before he died, Dad came home and told us he was going to rehab again, his friends had organised it, he said that we would be a family again……sadly he never made it to rehab!

As he got worse, his body stopped identifying when it was day and night, struggling with his thoughts, looking to escape, he felt guilty towards us, he would call up in the middle of the night, distressed and crying, saying how sorry he was and that he wanted to stop, it was so sad, he was so frightened and he drank more to shut it all out. He knew it would kill him if he didn’t get help and be with the right people, I tried so much to help him, we all did but the bad influences and his vulnerability prevented this.

So much has gone on, during the last few months I was also supposed to be studying for my GCSEs and I couldn’t, he died during my exams and his funeral too. I found his funeral the most painful thing ever, I couldn’t believe it was my dad in that box, it took me a long time to accept he was never coming back. I would never have dreamed that this would have happened to me and my family, so much sadness and the death of my Dad, when I am so young too and to have lost my Dad and in such a gruesome way is not something I should have to be dealing with.

I saw a video while doing my GCSE in psychology. I showed it my dad. He cried so much and wouldn't watch it again as it upset him so much. Please click this link to watch it. It may help save someone else for alcohol abuse.

I saw a video while doing my GCSE in psychology. I showed it my dad. He cried so much and wouldn't watch it again as it upset him so much. Please click this link to watch it. It may help save someone else for alcohol abuse.

The last time I saw him was two weeks before he died. I found it so difficult, I didn’t recognise him, he was so different, I was really nervous, I really could not deal with it. He had changed so much, I did not understand some of what he was saying, he said strange things and he also thought I was 6 years old, I was 16. We hugged and said we loved each other at least. I felt too frightened to go back and see him but now I really wish I had……

Below is a photograph of my dad two months before he died, taken by my family. Through abnormal circumstances, they managed to see my dad for a few hours, it was a very distressing meet for them, Dad had to be carried because he couldn’t walk nor could he speak very well, what happened is something I can’t really share but he was in a very dangerous place in many ways, mentally and physically too. This is how he looked at 50 years old, after many years of consuming alcohol, he was pretty unrecognisable, this photograph is so sad, this is what alcohol does, this is how dangerous alcohol addiction is. The photographs show my dad when I was around early high school age, he was a functioning alcoholic, he did it in secret, he still looked good but after years of it look how poorly he looked towards the end, this is how dangerous it is and alcohol addiction doesn’t just affect the liver as you would think, your sight, mobility, the brain, your heart, how you think, other organs, your skin, every part of the body can be affected, like my dad.

I feel so angry that I couldn’t see my Dad and say goodbye properly, everything about his life, more so the last 12 – 18 months, was so extremely sad and all so wrong, in ways I can’t describe in my story but I was unable to see him and not because I didn’t want to. My Dad died and shouldn’t have and that’s as far as I will go on this. I know he loved me very much and I will never be able to fully understand why life took him down the path of addiction and such extreme self-harm. It is a mental health illness and something we all must recognise as a very serious and devastating disease which has ripped my family apart.

This is an enormous ask but I am so frightened and desperate. My Dad changed his will and left everything to someone who did not have his best interests at heart. The Will does not provide for me, as his daughter, even though he always provided for me in the past, and this was well documented in his previous Will. Despite his illness and troubled life, he always made sure I had a home and provided for me.

From my research, his last Will was made when he did not have the “testamentary capacity” to make such serious decisions and he had a “disorder of the mind”, my Dad would not knowingly and purposefully caused me and his family such intended harm and devastation, he was mentally poorly, he was end of life liver failure, he had a brain disease, he could not walk or get to the toilet even…and wrongly he was still drinking alcohol.

We have exhausted all ideas and friends have suggested crowd funding. I do not have any money nor do my family to contest my Dad’s Will.

This is my ask: Please give small donations, a £1 and share my story with as many people you can, so my fund can grow by reaching as many people as possible. I have had to leave the school I loved and Dad would not have wanted that to happen, things are very bleak now and face eviction from my home. Dad always promised me that he would look after me. Dad loved us all, he was not a bad person and would never have wanted this for me.

I would give anything to see my dad again, if I could turn back time, my wish would be to keep him safe and we got him better, I miss him so much.

There is a second reason for my crowdfunding, I really hope this may actually help other children and families of alcoholics. It literally tears families apart, they can’t help it, it’s a mental illness, look at what has happened to me because of alcohol. My dad died and I would give anything to have the Daddy back that alcohol stole.

Thank you to everyone who reads my story.

Love from

Imogen xxxxxxxxxxxx